Saturday, December 31, 2011

Happy Last Post of 2011!!


Originally titled .. 2 wrongs don't make a right, but 3 rights make a left, and made for Ashley. I think that the inspiration for this caption came from when George Costanza on Seinfeld decided to do everything opposite the way he usually did, so he could end up winning for once.

The picture was just utterly enthralling to me. The black and white nature, and the contrast was very alluring. I think I used a different font for this caption specifically to capture a different mood than what I was usually projecting. Not even sure WHAT font it is, but it works well with the text I created.

I hope that everyone reading this caption has a safe and enjoyable New Year celebration. See you all in 2012 . The Mayans say we have at LEAST another 5-6 months right? LOL


Thursday, December 29, 2011

Comic Con will be different this year!



Comic-Con has always been a good topic when creating TG captions. With the amount of scantily clad and superhero dressed people there, and the cameras taking pictures, it seems inevitable that those photos will become the fantasies of TG captioners. I know a fair amount of comic book stuff, though I mostly read Batman and Sandman when I was younger. Most TG fans though are pretty big Scifi and Comic Book geeks, if I am one to generalize. I guess it comes with the territory.

When I made this caption, it was one of those weekends where Spike TV was playing a non-stop marathon of Star Wars movies, so I blame the whole set on them! The pictures I had saved up for quite a few years .. I had a vague story plot involving them, but I sort of left them behind, as many newer pictures spoke to me in a direct way. Periodically I go back through my old picture directories to see if there are any hidden gems, or things that will work for people I owe captions preference wise.

BabyEmmy likes age regression, and has "boyfriend/hubby to daughter" as a preference. I don't usually do them too much, as I would like models to be at least in the late teens, and always keep them as non-sexual as possible. The 2nd captions' picture would work though, as it is definitely a costume and we have no idea what she looks like underneath, hence we keep a sense of anonymity about who she is under there. Once I had the idea for that, I wanted to tie the 1st picture in somehow. What I wrote works well enough, but the 1st panel is mostly there to set up the second one, which I made sure has some humiliation involved, which is what Emmy requested in her preferences.

One of the things I wanted to mention here that I also mentioned in the original posting on Rachel's Haven was that this was slightly inspired by my own youngling. From the posting, "My daughter used to wear her Vader mask to bed sometimes. Very disconcerting when checking on her at 2 in the morning, especially when she had a cold. At least she never said 'Yippie!'." She isn't a fan of the movies, but really thinks that Darth Vader is a cool villain, and that Luke is a bit of a "wienie".

DISCUSSION QUESTION: How squeamish are you when it comes to making captions regarding preferences you aren't comfortable with? Do you try to work around them, and accommodate the recipient, or do you ask them to give you some ideas that you are more attuned to using? The Haven forbids incestuous captions, and sexual situations involving minors, so I don't have to deal with that, but what other things do you stay away from in reading/creating TG captions?

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Ironing Out Our Differences . and Formspring!


Just another caption that uses "Dust my Credenza" .. I think I've used that in at least 4 to 5 captions since I've started. Not sure WHY, it just seems like a funny word that I want to use OVER and OVER again. Not much to say about the caption .. I mean, how can you make a crappy caption with a source photo like that?

Well, the main suggestion seems to be that I should make a page that talks specifically about certain elements that we discuss in regards to caption creation. I like to think that most of my blog posts focus on that, but there are certain ones that really gets into the nuts and bolts of "how-to" more so than the "why" I do things. I'll see what I can whip up design wise, and probably reach out to Steffiemarie since she seems to have been the first one to have little sections in her blog.

Another suggestion was to make posts more about me personally, and the life of Damien. I am not sure how much people want to hear about my dreadfully boring life (by design .. my life used to be a huge roller-coaster!) so I'll put snippets of it to make sure people get a sense of where I'm coming from when making captions. If anyone has specific questions or areas they wish for me to discuss, I am sure they could post it in the formspring box on the left hand side over there.

Speaking of, here is a question from Nadine, which seems to followup something from another post I made.

What's a made-in caption?

I am assuming this is a mis-understood line in a discussion question from a few days ago .. "What are some other things that strike you when you see them made in captions, that while they aren't officially "wrong" like typos, logic, or plot holes .." There is no such thing as a "made in caption" .. Perhaps I didn't use proper grammar .. but I meant to ask what draws you to see a mistake made in a caption .. that isn't quite a "mistake" as much as perhaps a slight faux pas or something that just doesn't feel right. For instance, I have a bit of a pet peeve for paragraphs that end with ONE word on a line .. just sort of dangling there on its own. I work with publications quite a bit, and I will futz with character spacing to make sure we don't get an orphan word sitting there by itself. Its how I feel about it, and though its not WRONG, it doesn't feel RIGHT for me. Perhaps more of a case of OCD, but it DOES drive me bonkers sometimes!

Next ummm, question comes from jayjay9:

my Question is this, how are you honey?

Thanks for asking. I am a bit beat up over the holidays, but hanging in there. I could use some rest and relaxation that honestly, I will never see or experience. Someday I hope to vanish for a few days with no way of anyone contacting me. Doesn't matter where I go ... even a hotel room with just an internet connection and a spa would do just fine. I've probably not decompressed in years. Traveling never helps either, because I can never actually relax, plus I'd have even more work on my plate when I return. Hopefully I can win the lottery and spend my time wandering around the country, turning men into sexy slutty women.

The last question is still brewing. Simone asked a rather good question that I am still pondering. Probably get to that after the new year.

Oh yeah, if you use Mozilla Firefox, there is a great little add-on that will save anything you fill into comment boxes like these, in case you end up cut off or hit a button .. you won't lose whatever you had written. I can't tell you how many times that has happened to me here on Blogger. I can't remember the name of it right now, but will post it in the comments section when I get a chance.

DISCUSSION QUESTION: How would/should I structure that little section discussed above in regards to caption creation and discussion? Do a blurb with links to the original topic? Post the meat of each individual discussion directly from the original blog post? Other ideas?

Monday, December 26, 2011

Dream a Little (perverted) Dream ..


This caption was made for Candy (aka One Eyed Pirate) and I wanted to post something that was a bit more hardcore today to balance out all the sweetness that the holidays sometimes causes. LOL Besides, steffiemarie said that SEX SELLS, so I guess I have got to get on the bandwagon!

I don't usually use pictures this explicit, but Candy likes hardcore images and story lines, so occasionally I have to step up and make something i usually wouldn't. Its not that I don't like using penetration and gyno type shots, its that most of them are too generic for me. I need something in the photo that will grab me, and tie the story into the picture. Most "money shots" are generally the same, and I could certainly write the same old, "he turned into a slut and here she is taking it in the ass ... enjoy!"

This was slightly different because I liked the composition of the shot, and her eyes were closed, implying some sort of "Omigod please tell me I'm dreaming!" type situation that people tend to find themselves in from time to time. Also, for the punchline, I needed a certain pose, and this works well in getting from A to B .. the look on her face corresponds well to the beginning, all the way down to her naughty bits, which coincides with the ending.

The irony in this is that I don't tend to make my writing any more or any less perverted regardless of what picture I use, though it does work more forcefully blunt here matched up to the photo. I left the whole things vague .. it COULD be just a dream, or Jeff could have changed in any number of different ways .. but it isn't important in the slightest to what is going on right at that point in time.

Hope everyone had a good holiday filled with family and friends. I did what I could to spread the cheer around to everyone that deserved it, and even for a few that didn't deserve it! I wandered around the internet looking and commenting on different TG blogs ... which was fun because I don't do nearly enough of that. Found some fun things to look at. Haven't made any new captions, and probably won't before the New Year, as I have various peoples floating around the house with vacation time. I should be at least posting though on this blog, either from here at home or at work.

I've also sent out the Christmas Goose pictures to those that asked. Check your email!

DISCUSSION QUESTION: I've noticed that quite a few people are doing some overhauls on their TG blogs, like new backgrounds, pages that explain things, and other things to make it spiffier. Do you think this site needs anything added to it (other than tags for Feb 11-June 11)? What could I do to make this blog more Dee-lightful?

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Decks the Halls with Lots of Holly!


Well, its technically Christmas Eve, as its after Midnight here in this time zone. I figured I would post a BLOG EXCLUSIVE .. I like saying that! LOL I don't really create many captions that aren't for anyone specific. This one came to mind when I saw the picture. Fruitcake has become a Christmas joke nowadays here in America, as people don't seem to know how to make them, and its an acquired taste to be sure. I'm pretty sure the photo is not showing an actual fruitcake, but hey, suspension of disbelief and all that, right? Everyone needs a weird aunt that is probably into the Dark Arts, right? That keeps us on our toes, probably painted fire engine red!

I trust that everyone will have a great holiday season, whether it was spinning a dreidel, airing your grievances around a Festivus pole, calling out the corners at the Winter Solstice, celebrating the arrival of baby Jesus, bowing down the commercial God of Santa Claus, or whatever you do when Kwanzaa arrives. I hope all those you care about have a safe and secure holiday season as well.

I am not sure I'll be posting again before Monday, as Sunday will be a huge travel day with the Mentia Familia visiting most of the "spousal" relatives that live multiple hours away. Not looking forward to the drive up and back, but I do look forward to the Prime Rib. Her family really knows how to celebrate deliciously!

If I do post before then, it might be the entry I posted for last year's Christmas Caption Contest (or was it 2009?) that was relatively tasteless, hence my absolute joy in making it! Depends on how much Egg Nog and Meatballs I consume at the Christmas Eve parties we hit tomorrow evening.

DISCUSSION TOPIC: If you want to leave holiday messages, please go right ahead. As a gift to those who caption, leave a message here, and if you want, I'll give you a photo or two I have saved on my hard drive that I think you might find useful in making a caption. What better than me sliding a hand in your stocking and giving you a gift?!? Just make note in the comment that you want the Christmas Goose!

Thursday, December 22, 2011

A Subtle and Tasteful Makeover


This was created for a relatively newbie on the Haven, The Color Blue .. and I really liked her preferences, especially since some of them have meshed with some things I've really be into lately. Tasty bits like hypnosis, compulsions, and embarassment/humiliation. Also, over the last week or two, I have thought about the whole "turned into a drag queen" thing in relation to the other tasty bits I just mentioned.

I tried to make a caption that would fill some of those hotspots. I really wish I had the skill to write stories with those plot points, but honestly my ADHD kicks in, and I get semi-bored. Plus, my desire is always to edit things down to their bare essence, and details can matter when it comes to a full on story.

Its also how I feel about this caption. While its good, I don't think I put out everything I wanted to, and ended up shortchanging the plot somehow. This is one of those times where multiple panels probably would have helped me tell the story I wanted to tell. However, I did NOT want to have a first panel with a guy on it, because we all tend to put ourselves in the captions, and seeing a guy that looks NOTHING like us would be terribly disarming. If I had another picture of the girl in the photo, I definitely would use it, especially if it was without the wig. That way I could carve out a bit more of the back story.

I'm glad that Mina liked it, with this response:
Oh simply delightful!! Definitely right up my alley. I've never been a redhead before but I must say it looks quite nice and the drag queen circus clown had me laughing.
 I still think I could have given her something so much better.

One a blog note ... I should be posting either tomorrow or on Christmas Eve. I have a blog exclusive caption (depending on if the 25 captions of Christmas has a Christmas Eve entry) and then probably nothing until the middle of next week, with a few postings during that holiday week to keep people amused!

DISCUSSION QUESTION: Should I be beating myself up over this? Is it because I am using preferences that I personally like to create a caption for someone else?

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Watch Out for the DRM!

 
Nick/Lanna is a big anime fan, and likes to have anime art in captions. I wouldn't really know Sailor Moon from Popeye the Sailor Man however, so I was a bit limited in what I could write. I do know some anime pirates, mostly because they don't think its right that they should have to pay 30 bucks for 2-4 episodes per disc. Figured I could use that information to make some sort of caption and still make it interesting.

Even better, I could actually work with her preferences. Among them were:
  • I'm very polite, try not to break rules, but may insult people with out noticing.
  • I don't mind being with either a guy or a girl, either before or after transformation.
  • I have a girlfriend who is also bi, and doesn't care what gender I am, she also loves TF as much as me XD
  • If there are multiple people in the cap, I like to be with my GF, she doesn't mind (actually enjoys) being turned into a guy, so if I'm in a picture with a guy, please make it her ^_^
When I get something like that, it makes me want to include his girlfriend. What better way to keep a relationship running well than being able to share something like TG captions?

I know that "The Ring" was a movie that had a movie being a force for change, specifically the viewers dying within 7 days of watching. From there, it didn't take much of a leap that the anime Nick watched would have the same sort of effect, though only through the copy protection scheme (DRM is something that is supposed to stop piracy/bootlegging of copy-written works like movies and music.). Having his girlfriend watch it first made sure that they BOTH would change gender.

This caption also shows what I had discussed in the previous blog post about how I tend to make captions when the picture source is in widescreen format. Instead of floating the text IN the picture, I put the picture right where it should be in the time line, and wrote the story around it.

I would like to post every weekday this week, but it all depends on how the work schedule plays out. I was able to get most of the work needed to be done before Christmas already done .. it just depends on when everyone else here in the office gets me THEIR data, so I can finish MY work.

I'm holding out hope that some people will come up with more ideas for the discussion question I posted yesterday, and I will repost the actual discussion question below.

DISCUSSION QUESTION: What are some other things that strike you when you see them made in captions, that while they aren't officially "wrong" like typos, logic, or plot holes .. but things that make the caption not nearly as polished as it could be?

The reason I'm asking is I'd like to see if we could whip up a guide to "So you made some captions? Now how do you make the jump to the next level?" type FAQ.

Monday, December 19, 2011

Getting Support from a Family Member .. Sorta!


The picture totally wrote the entire caption for me. The pose and look on the model's face said, "help me please?" to me, and it didn't have the blunt sexuality that many "girls grabbing/cupping their boobs" seem to possess. There was an innocence to the expression and her face itself. Also, there was some soft boyish features present in the face and the hair, which made it seem like she wasn't QUITE fully changed yet. Its not often when you get a gift like this in picture form .. all that I described AND a wonderfully kick ass body to use in a caption.

When I make captions, I tend to use tall pictures (aka height is 2:1 ratio or so to width) so I can run a text box on the side. Pictures like this are harder for me, because I don't want to edit a photo this delicious, and the extraneous background lends credence to it being his sister's room. When I get pictures that are wider than tall, I tend to do one of two things.

One way is to have a more linear arrangement, where the picture goes exactly where it fits in the story time line. An example would be the first text section is the guy arguing about going to see a chick flick with her, and that she should find someone to go that would appreciate it more. Then I would put in a picture of a girl with tears running down her face. Then, I'd end it with the transformed boyfriend watching the movie with his girlfriend, and find out he's crying, not because of the movie, but because she told him that he'll be stuck like that for the next month. (Hey, I think I just wrote a caption on the fly! Wooo!) See THIS blog post for the style I just described.

The other way to handle it is to do what I did here. Make the picture the entire caption and place all the text floating on top of the photo. I have no problems doing this, although, when you go this route, you really need to either go ALL narrative, or ALL dialog. This style also is best used when text is sparse. It doesn't look balanced when there is a bunch of small test being dominated by a picture like the one in the caption above. Since I had set this up as a conversation between brother and sister, their conversation could just be banter, since its obvious they know each other very well. That led me to an economy of dialog, and if I recall, I think I actually made the text size bigger when I was done, since there were still some dead space for it to fit into without overwhelming the image.

One of the things I've been thinking about lately is negative space, especially since a few people have asked me to critique their captions. I do my best to not only trim the image to what I feel is necessary, but that I will never leave a block of text box empty. If what I've written is too short, I'll either try to expand what I've written with some extra adjectives and more detail to the change .. or enlarge the text itself, and center it so that there would be two smaller spaces instead of one giant one. Its probably the number one thing I notice about newbies when they start making captions. Often the picture choice is good and the stories are at least competent, but there's about 2 inches at the top of the picture that could've been chopped (mostly blue sky) and they have about 2 inches at the bottom of the text box that are blank. If they'd chopped the sky, the picture and text box would be perfectly balanced!

DISCUSSION QUESTION: What are some other things that strike you when you see them made in captions, that while they aren't officially "wrong" like typos, logic, or plot holes .. but things that make the caption not nearly as polished as it could be? As a start, I would nominate the resizing of images incorrectly .. by either enlarging them so much they are blurry, or resizing them so that the proportions are off (squished girls or elongated features) so they look like fun-house mirrors.

The reason I'm asking is I'd like to see if we could whip up a guide to "So you made some captions? Now how do you make the jump to the next level?" type FAQ.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

The Pink Bimbo ... with a Twist!


Have a few Formspring "questions" to answer soon, and possibly a blog exclusive caption. Depends on if I want to post it here or gift it to the next Haven eZine which should be coming out in January. At that point in time, I'll also be able to post my contribution to the 1st eZine, since the 6 month exclusivity will be passed.

The caption above was made for Sammie/Serena. I was purposely trying to stay away from a magical caption, and she has preferences that fit both a realistic approach and one that is more abracadabra. I like these type of stories more now than I used to, and I am more comfortable writing them. Compulsion plotlines make me tingle as it is, and having instincts run counter-intuitive to what they used to be, leaving the protagonist on auto-pilot, yet still aware of the way they are acting, will probably never get old in my opinion.

I tried not to telegraph the twist at the end. The whole caption plot came to me as soon as I saw the picture. The ending came first, and I had to work my way through back to the beginning. There was a bit of pruning, mostly in what Nate had done, and the process of becoming the picture. If it went too long, I feared it would lose its emotional impact. I imagine that Belladonna could write a really good story, just by stretching out my skeletal plot and detailing the downfall. I didn't want a full story though, I just wanted a visceral "HERE YA GO!"

I'm glad to see that the views are picking up here. College semesters are over I assume, and people have time to look around the TG blogosphere perhaps? Glad everyone is looking at least!

What I posted in the previous blog entry still applies!
  • If you have a TF/TG caption blog and DON'T belong to the Haven, but would like to trade captions, give me a shout-out below in the comments. I didn't realize there were that many people doing captions that weren't a part of the Haven. 99 percent of my captions are trades with others. I always focus better on plots and things when I have someone, and their preferences, in mind. Otherwise my brain is too scatter shot and my ADD kicks in (and people wonder why I can be concise when creating .. its really a lack of focus! LOL)  
DISCUSSION QUESTION: If you had the chance to give a TG Christmas wish ... would it be for you to have your wish come true .. or for all of your online/real life TG friends to have THEIR wishes become a reality?

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Kidnappers can really co-ordinate colors!


I am so glad that I found the story I was looking for.Its called "Andrew" and was written by Grimbo. Funny thing is, after reading it, I think my mind had improved the story as I replayed it in my mind over the years. Doesn't hold up as well as I thought, especially with some of the writers of TG captions and stories I read now. Maybe someone will take that story as an idea and really improve on it!

I made the above caption for Dalene three years ago. My original file was sort of messed up, so I re-jiggered it to make it more readable. I made it for a 2 for 1 deal that she offered, and I'm not sure if she supplied the picture or not. Either way, I'm pretty happy with it .. and it falls in line with one of the first captions I made Alectra .. that of the whole Stockholm Syndrome, and the breakdown of the psyche over tramatic things. Here is what I wrote originally:
MERRY CHRISTMAS .. now SUBMIT TO ME!! Hee hee!

Enjoy the rapture babe!
What I posted in the previous blog entry still applies!
  • If you have a TF/TG caption blog and DON'T belong to the Haven, but would like to trade captions, give me a shout-out below in the comments. I didn't realize there were that many people doing captions that weren't a part of the Haven. 99 percent of my captions are trades with others. I always focus better on plots and things when I have someone, and their preferences, in mind. Otherwise my brain is too scatter shot and my ADD kicks in (and people wonder why I can be concise when creating .. its really a lack of focus! LOL) 
Lastly, I wanted to post one of my favorite Christmas songs by one of my favorite bands. Figured some of my followers might enjoy it, and it is certainly apropos of some people's holiday season I'm sure!

My First Xmas as a Woman by The Vandals


Its so catchy, you'll be walking down the street humming to yourself, "Chop it off, Chop it off, My penis, chop it off!"

DISCUSSION QUESTION: I love offbeat Christmas songs, and have a ton of things like "Pink Flamingos" by Jerry Springer, or "Fuck Christmas" by Fear. I am hoping my Dee-mented followers will have a few suggestions I haven't seen yet. Whatcha got for me?

Monday, December 12, 2011

Nursing a Curse .. Just milking it right now!


This will be a somewhat fragmented post. I am trying to make sure I post 2-3 times a week. I don't always have an elaborate discussion worked up, so I post when (a) I have time, and (b) when I have something to discuss. Making this blog is much harder than actually making captions.

People are always asking for pregnancy captions. Here is one I made a few weeks ago for a 2 for 1 deal offered by Chelsea Baker. As I described in the posting at the time:
I wanted to make something up right away before I forgot (that happens much more than you think!) so I puzzled quickly until I came up with something that I don't think gets enough caption love. For women, there is something that happens to them that they can't describe when they are involved with what the caption talks about, and guys NEVER get to experience it.
From seeing it live, and from hearing about it with other mothers I know, its a weirdly erotic, but innocent, sensation to breast feed. Even weirder is that certain emotions, or any baby crying, can bring forth a veritable fountain of breast milk. Guys really have nothing to compare it to and I think its interesting that an emotional feeling can bring about such a physical reaction like that.

A few side notes:
  • I am looking for an old story, that I seem to have lost from my hard drive. It was posted MANY years ago, perhaps on the original TSA mailing list, or perhaps the TG mailing list that Sapphire had started. The plot was basically the following, "Guy in a clothing store pisses off the witch working there. He has to escape the store, and if any female clothing touches him, the corresponding body part of his changes into a female (ie if gloves touch him, his hands become female.) If he can escape, he will become a man again, but of course, that doesn't happen." IF you have a copy/link to the story, give me a holler. I wish I remembered the name and author, but I honestly suck about that!
  • If you have a TF/TG caption blog and DON'T belong to the Haven, but would like to trade captions, give me a shout-out below in the comments. I didn't realize there were that many people doing captions that weren't a part of the Haven. 99 percent of my captions are trades with others. I always focus better on plots and things when I have someone, and their preferences, in mind. Otherwise my brain is too scatter shot and my ADD kicks in (and people wonder why I can be concise when creating .. its really a lack of focus! LOL)
  • Something I am pretty good at is helping people that are having issues with writing blocks. If you ever have a problem trying to figure out where to go next, or want to blast past some creative issues, let me know, and I'll see what I can do.
All of these things you can put in the comments section. Hopefully, I'll have something more posted in the next few days, including an exclusive blog caption.

Friday, December 9, 2011

A Little Drop of ... Poison?


Wanted to post something for people to look at this weekend. I'll try to look at the links in the previous post and add some to the side for my viewing pleasure. Keep them coming!! No need to stop just because there is a newer blog post!

This is the other caption I made while listening to Tom Waits. I had the picture for Chelsea, but hadn't the real concrete idea until I got to the lyrics for "A Little Drop of Poison" which seemed to go really well with the image. I didn't want to go the way most people would though with the picture and the song title. Figured I would work around it. Witches, especially those in the past, were often just herbalist/chemists, so went with that. Since the picture has a cat (familiar) and tea cups (Chelsea is from the UK) .. I just went with what works, and I think it did work. Sometimes I like to make guys lives better when they turn into women. I guess I have a soft touch occasionally!

DISCUSSION: How often do you just take what the image gives you, versus trying to stretch around and give the story something that is slightly off the beaten path? For me, I wanted to do it here because Chelsea had given me a great caption and I wanted to make the capback something more special.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Santa Panties ... Very Comfortable!


First off, I would like to thank everyone who voted in the Haven's November 2011 contest. I ended up winning the whole ball of wax, for the first time I was more than just the bride's maid! It feels great, because I know I'm not the best at any one particular aspect of captioning, but I like to think I'm pretty consistent when it comes to quality and overall presentation. Having been in the final two for a contest for four years in a row shows that people tend to agree with me in my assumption.

I made the above caption for a little project that Terri started on the Haven called "The 25 caps of Christmas" and it was starting out slow. She'd PMed a few of the admins who caption asking if they'd help contribute, and more so, to help promote the idea and get it moving. Its pretty much a TG version of an Advent calendar.

At first, I didn't think I'd have time right away, but no one else had made anything, and I didn't want it to die a quick yet painful death, so I whipped up something on the quick. If I'm anything, I'm rapid from start to finish. I had a stash of Xmas pictures I hadn't capped yet, and just grabbed one, made a background for it, and started writing.

There's been debates about Holiday Trees vs Christmas Trees and saying "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas" so I figured I could do a quick riff on that, with how the spirit is in the giving. From there, it didn't take too much to bring the TG aspect into it, with some naughtiness as well. There is a tradmark "Dee" zinger at the end that just brings a smile to my face. I always wondered why feminine hygiene products always have "baby powder" as a scent instead of things like "New Car Smell".

Anyway, I made that caption in about 12 minutes, and Terri had a caption for Day 2. There are still some dates available if you are a captioner. See the link for more details. If you just like to look at captions, go to the link and check out creations made by famous captioners like: Dee, Argus, Petra, Alectra, Martha, Totalditz, and hopefully many others!

DISCUSSION QUESTION. Things have been a bit slow on some of the TG blogs I follow. I need more links to follow! If you are following this blog and HAVE a blog of your own, please plug it in the comments. That way I can add you to the side column. Having followers cross pollinating can be a good thing, and I enjoy finding things I haven't seen before. If you know of any blog sites I may like, post them in the comment section as well!

Saturday, December 3, 2011

The Irony is Pretty .. Ironic (Please Vote!)


Well, I've won a Haven contest in 2008, 2009, and 2010 (2nd place actually, but close enough!) and I haven't done many contests this year. When I realized I could keep the streak alive, I worked hard to make a caption that I thought conveyed the concept quite well, but with a twist that was fun and ingenious. 

The rules are the following:

  • Transformations have to lead to an age change.
  • That included both directions: age regression and age progression
  • There's no limit for the highest age, do what you like here
  • That doesn't apply for the other direction. First of all stay within the Haven Rules! We decided that all girls below 16 should be G-rated. Between 16 and 18 you can include R-rated pictures and above 18 it's X-rated or higher.
  • The focus of the story should be really about the new age or the age difference. Just making a guy 2 years younger as a girl wouldn't focus on the age change since this is hardly a change. So beside the gender change the age change should be mainly the center of the story.

I think my caption is a good fit for the rules.

Now I need a last minute push to see if I can end up in a winning spot. I certainly don't mind coming in 2nd place, but I'd like to keep my streak going. if I do, it shows that I am consistently good enough to almost win LOL Hell, if I win, I might ask to switch the rankings so I get 2nd place AGAIN!

So please head on down to Rachel's Haven, and vote early, and often! The link is here : http://www.rachelshaven.com/index.php?option=com_smf&Itemid=40&topic=48890.0

Voting ends tomorrow morning at 6 am EST I believe.

Yeah, I know this is cheesy and reeks of the movie "Election" but I'm sure some others are rallying support as well. There are many good captions posted for you to look at, so just remember to VOTE! Even for people that aren't me!

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

The Retail Price of Womanhood


Something I created for Polecat yesterday. Figured I would post something really fresh and new, since it was currently one of the most recent ones I have made.

I think its pretty straightforward in narrative, and has the zinger that he's not going back to being a guy just quite yet. It looks like he's going to end up learning all about the inequities that could be associated with being female.

I saw the picture and really admired how awesome that bra truly is, and the comfort that it must provide the wearer. Knowing that my daughter has issues with cheap bras, I sort of wrote it from her perspective, but using me as a character. If she had "Dee" powers, I'm sure she'd have used them the same way as presented in the caption.

Quality is something to be looked for when it comes to things for women. Guys can usually get by with bulk socks and underwear, basic pants and shirts, even shoes (unless you are talking about work boots for people that actually work!) whereas women's footwear can hurt the wearers toes, arch, and heel; bras can pinch, bind, and stab; undies can sag or crawl up their crack; nylons can run, etc ..

Other than the work boots I mentioned above, or perhaps stain-resistant clothing .. I can't really think of many things that guys buy strictly for comfort, forgoing cheaper, off-made brands. Perhaps it is because I'm frugal and poor! Maybe we have some rich guys out there that will swear they can't wear anything that isn't silk shirts or 9k thread count sheets, but most guys I know skimp on money, and don't lose too much on the quality end of the deal.

Anyway, back to where I started. A few people on the Haven were commenting on a part of the caption I didn't really see, and I want to know if people are reading it the same way, and that I missed something. Here are a few of the comments:
Interesting revenge cap. Nice job.
 Oh Dee, Oh Dee, You are a vengeful little bitch, aren't you? I love you!
 Its always great to get feedback. My question is, did the caption seem to you that Dee was trying to get revenge on her hubby? I was looking at is as a way to have a "teaching moment" more so than an actual punishment. Perhaps using this persuasive sales pitch would change his mind as their both shared a harsh experience then a positive reinforcement (aka badly made bra, then upgraded to a well designed, pretty one.) The same could be said at the end once they are both walking in much better footwear (he'll definitely walk a mile in her shoes that way!) I did leave it open-ended as to when/if he changes back into a man so that the recipient and reader will fill in their own blanks, and foreshadowed him thinking a bit like a woman when he mentioned 'his boobs'.

I made this caption 1000 pixels wide, as discussed in a prior blog entry. It is my first at that format size, and I made the decision after reading what others had posted. This made for a good test run, since the source picture was HUGE! I was able to shrink it down, but still have more picture that I usually do when I was doing 850 pixels wide.

DISCUSSION QUESTION: Did it seem that Dee was being vengeful? Or was it more of a Rorschach type caption where people can read whatever they like into it, where you will find exactly what you like to read, in between the lines? Do you like the somewhat bigger caption size?

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

The Acting Bug ... Pilgrim Bitches in Heat!


Something I wrote a few years ago when I was messing around with Comic Life. The best part is how I followed it up with the second panel which is right below this paragraph, once I finish typing.


Truthfully, I think I started writing the first caption, and the play on Miles Standish just seemed too juicy to not use in a more salacious way, which led to "PILGRIM BITCHES IN HEAT"!!!

My original posting to SassyLass was this:
I took time off from the pleasures of a college assignment in Javascript to make you a joyous Thankgiving type of caption.

You just know that the girls did your make up using a Mayflower Compact!!! HAHAHAHAHA OY VEY!!!

The "typo" in the 1st box is deliberate ... Coloinial ... it's called foreshadowing bitches!! Any others are the fault of me and me alone.

Hope everyone enjoys this caption, as you WILL learn things, like there really was a John Lancemore on the Mayflower who was a laborer for Christopher Martin.
Who'd have thunk that the Pilgrims had some porno quality names? Hope you like this goofy yet fun Thanksgiving caption. I don't think I'll be posting on Turkey Day, and if I do post on Black Friday, it wouldn't be too early since I'll be having a few laughs with some social mischief in the stores and in the parking lots. Hopefully no one will pull a gun on me ... why so serious?

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS: Vent away people! Any topics you want me to cover? Any genres I haven't posted lately that needs a little love thrown its way by yours truly? What alcohol should I move onto next (currently drinking SoCo and pineapple juice)?

Yours, Mine, and Ours .. I WANT HALF!


Been a few days since I last posted, and it seems the blog has tumbleweeds wandering through it. Not sure if I am not getting good enough discussion questions, or perhaps they are too hard or demanding?

Anyway, this is one of my favorites. I just love the idea behind the caption, and I wish someone like Belladonna would take it and make a full fledged story out of it. Who says there can't be a Divorces R' Us around to help out couples looking to split their assets/ Here is what I wrote around the time the caption was posted:
99 percent of the time I have the pictures 1st, then write stories for them later. I try to save pictures for people that I think they'd go well with, and considering some of the preferences of Ron, I had this one saved for awhile before I came up with the plot above. I was chatting with a friend online that has been having marital issues AND was looking at this picture at the same time, and VIOLA! I've got a foundation for a caption!
Of course, the whole Eddie Murphy routine, "HALF! I WANT HALF!" was going through my mind when I wrote this.


I hope everyone has a wonderful Turkey Day and Black Friday afterwards, and that you and your family is safe, secure, and out of harm's way.

DISCUSSION QUESTION: I know its come up before, but what do you think the perfect width for a caption should be? I'm wondering because I was at 850 as a max for a long time, due to the Haven restrictions, but its since been lifted. I'm thinking that most people have widescreen monitors by now. What is your screen resolution set to, and should I increase mine to 1024 pixels or so? Also, feel free to comment on the captions!

Thursday, November 17, 2011

I Played by the Rules! .. Happy Life Day!


This caption is another storyline that I had roaming around my noggin for quite a while, and I had emailed it to myself a number of months back. Its a basic plot point that some TV shows and movies use as a device .. a boss is retiring or leaving and is finding a replacement. There is usually some sort of contest based on sales or whatever, and the candidates are pitted against each other with every sort of dirty trick, etc .. being played.

After seeing all the shenanigans going on with government and big business, I wanted to turn this plot point on its head. Even now, as I watch all the presidential candidates debating, its amazing how self righteous they all seem to portray themselves. I don't think that anyone in power has a clean sheet, as the higher you rise, the more dirty your laundry tends to be. The person most people think of as the worst president of the last 50 years (I'm discounted Bush Jr because there hasn't been enough time yet to really look back) was Jimmy Carter, who most people would also probably say was the nicest and most virtuous of the presidents of the last half century.

So then, what we have here is a "good guy to good girl" caption, which is somewhat rare to see. The other thing about this caption that is somewhat rare is its one of the 2 percent I write that isn't driven by a picture. I could have used any number of business oriented pictures for the caption and it probably would not have affected the plot much at all. Sammie likes redheads, so that is why I used this particular photo.

On an unrelated note, today is Life Day. so make sure wear your red robe and wave your crystal ball things up high. For those that aren't sure what that means, here is a quick little video to help you out.


HAPPY LIFE DAY!!

DISCUSSION QUESTION: How much of your morals and world views do you bring into your captions? Is it easy to fake a different philosophy when creating for others that don't hold the same values that you do?  Have you ever seen the Star Wars Holiday Special?

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

"Chemical Warfare" .. a guest caption!


I ended up with a question in my formspring from Simone .. well it wasn't exactly a question, but more of a followup to a question I had asked her on her blog about a week ago.
Turn About is Fair Play - Which of the captions I've done for you is your favorite and why?
Certainly is a fair question, so I went back into the archives. The one above is probably my favorite one.

Why? For quite a few reasons actually. First off, it has a pretty good sense of humor.  secondly, I look pretty friggin' hot. I have a gas mask that almost looks like that, and almost the same pentacle (though I'm not sure where it is now.)

Probably the main reason I like it though is due to its meta-ness. Its a caption for the REAL Damien/Dee, not for the Damien character that turns into Dee in captions on the Haven. Its the wink-and-nod to the existence of the Haven, and brings it to a hyper-reality. The plot mentions other people we know in the Haven, and references Simone's travels to Asia for business reasons. Its just fun all around.

The best part is that you don't really need to know any of the in-jokes for people to enjoy it.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you ...


... just happy to see me? I was chatting the other day with Simone, making a caption or two, but mostly just looking for pictures ... either to make an instant caption, or store on the hard drive for later use. When I saw this photo, the punchline came immediately. I didn't think it would really fit the preferences for anyone in particular, so I knew I could just write it as straight forward as it needed to be.

I think an alternative title could be, "A Gun Moll at a Gun Mall" but I could probably hear your collective groans over that one without need for amplification!

So, anyway, this caption became a "Dee-lusions of Grandeur" Exclusive. I need to see how many others I've only done for the blog. I know I did the "10 Commandments" one. I think I need to officially make am "blog exclusive" tag ... and actually post a few of them occasionally, just to keep people on their toes!

The last thought about this caption is that it seems like a lost episode of "The Adventures of Letterman!" that appeared on the original Electric Company on PBS during the 70's and early 80's.


Electric Company also had the song "Silent E" which would change things just with one letter.


So, to recap ... letters are much more powerful than one can imagine!

DISCUSSION QUESTION: Well, how about imagining how powerful letters CAN be? Got any ideas that could be turned into a caption .. where ONE letter can make a complete difference in someone's life? I don't mean like an M becoming an F on a driver's license, but something along the lines of the videos,

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

C'mon in .. the water's fine!

 
Don't think I'd done any Bikini Beach captions before, so this was a new arena to work in. I remember most of the stories when they originally came out, and it might be the 2nd oldest TG universe (other than Spells R Us) that is still being used from time to time.

Please read/view the caption first before continuing to read this blog entry.

I am not sure if someone wrote a story that mirrors the one I wrote here, but it wouldn't shock me. If there was such a thing as Bikini Beach, I would think this might happen a lot. Its what came to mind when I saw this picture, thinking about how "make a wish" kids often want to spend time in the water with dolphins, and how gentle they can be with people with medical issues (the compassion is amazing, considering that its been proven that dolphins can/will rape.)

Any problems I encountered with making this were of the .. how far should I go in dealing with something serious that has had to effect almost every viewer of the caption? I wanted to put some levity in, and show a new start .. and show apprehension ... all without making it a complete and utter downer.

What I did was try to put everything the reader needed to know in subtle hints, as the last thing I wanted to do was make it cloying and heavy handed. Making a story and setting up the "read between the lines" is not the easiest thing to do. I'm hoping that even though I left it vague, most readers know what was going on (the results were probably debilitating at best, and possibly terminal), and why Tom's wife did what she did.

I made this for Shauna because she's had some medical issues, and thought she'd appreciate the thought behind it. Its always hard to feel your way through a topic like this, but I figured she would be up for it.

This caption would not be very successful (and I am proud of it, trust me) if it wasn't for the picture. That photo sells the new life and opportunity that Shauna has been presented with, and it, in my mind at least, balances the seriousness of the initial situation, not only makes the ending more lighthearted, but also showing a shot of redemption for both of them.

I know why people don't often attempt to do captions or stories like this. Then again, I'm not like most people and want to see what I can do when I'm inspired. There isn't a Bikini Beach out there, but there are REAL organizations out there that try to fulfill the wishes of those less in less fortunate positions. Please make sure you remember them this year during the holiday season. Sometimes the smallest acts of kindness can have the biggest impact.

DISCUSSION QUESTION: How did your initial reaction to the caption match up with the discussion? Did I do a good enough job conveying what I had tried to lay out? I really don't mind people venting that they don't like this caption, it's too depressing, etc ... Tell me how you feel.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Something just came up .. Oh Shit! It's me!


I keep forgetting to email myself a caption I made the other day that didn't particularly fit anyone's preferences, so I was going to post it as an exclusive to my blog. Sooooo, I will have to wait until I can actually get it emailed to myself if I plan on posting it while at work.

Anyway, Jennifer had a great question in the comments:
Is there a specific genre that you associate with a certain fetish? or is all fair game? For example, do you prefer your pantyhose fetish to always have a hypnosis theme? 
 I don't mind mixing and matching, but there are some things that just seem to line up better. For instance, for those that have a fetish for latex ("wave to the audience Alectra!") I think that it goes well with submission and domination. It also works well with bodysuits.

I am a big fan of pantyhose/stockings. I don't think that there is any real definitive genre where it fits best. I know it REALLY fits well in a office/work place setting or a fancy dress / prom / wedding setting .. regardless of whether its a magical / technological caption or story .. or in a realistic way for cross-dressing subjects as evidenced by the above caption for Alectra.

I am a fan of hypnosis captions, and am a big fan of pantyhose. Something involving both is probably bound to nail at least one of those buttons, and hopefully many more that go along with other preferences. Both those preferences go well though with acting extremely or 'over the top' feminine and some humiliation too. I guess that I am lucky that what I am into keeps my preferences easy to caption.

DISCUSSION QUESTION: What are some things that don't seem to match up very well? Perhaps we can get some mix-matched ideas that I/we might be able to work through and overcome whatever issues we think keep them from being compatible.Which things really go well together that I haven't mentioned up above?

Friday, November 4, 2011

The Piano has been Drinking .. not me!


I made this caption while listening to Tom Waits, and it influenced/guided the story. I was going for the feel of Tom's 70's output, which was the sleazy alternative side of Frank Sinatra's legendary output of the 50's, with the sad sack in the bar at closing time. Ron likes women that have been transformed and are still wearing some sort of masculine attire, so when I found this picture, all the main parts lined up perfectly.



The same day I did this one, I also did one for "Little Drop of Poison" .. but that is a post for another time!

DISCUSSION QUESTION: Anything you'd like to see posted next? I don't want just a "BBW" or something like that. I want a particular genre BUT with a specific question in regards to which one you would like to see.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Lifestyles of the Broke and Fabulous!


Well, I had this idea for a LONG TIME. When I come up with a snippet or idea for a caption, and I'm at work, I'll email that little nugget to myself, so that I can look at it when I have the time. If I don't write them down, I'll usually forget about them later (which is why sometimes I give them to others when I'm chatting in IM's ...either they can use them or I will forget and those ideas will just die.)

I keep them all in the same email .. called story ideas. Not all of them will be used, but I do ponder each one. I hadn't looked at the email list in quite some time, so I figured there had to be a few things there I could use for captions that I owe to others. I had a good 10 or so to choose from, and I think I made 3 of them within the last week or so, including the one I posted with the Airplane references for Caitlyn.

My only problem with doing it this way is .. I don't normally have pictures to fill out the captions, so these captions take more time to make. I have to hunt around, either on websites, or rummaging through my photo folders. I don't necessarily mind doing it this way, as the ideas tend to be already fleshed out, and while I'm looking, I will always hit a picture that leads to another caption. For instance, I think I made 2 captions while trying to find a photo for this one.

The reason I had trouble finding a picture was that I wanted a certain look, not only of a model and what she was wearing, but the look on her face. This photo HAD that look, though she wasn't as dressed up as I wished she was, but went along with it anyway. That means I had to alter what I had quickly jotted down in my email. Here is what I had originally:
Look TIFFANY babe, we are friggin broke! We can’t afford to do that, and the bank is not going to let us borrow against the house, since the property values have dropped these last few years.

How can we have no money? I make a good salary as a App Developer and the house is all paid off. Don’t we have a few bank accounts we can tap?

Ummm, TIMOTHY? How do you think you were able to pay for hair plugs, those big boobs, or the constant trips to the salon to keep your nails fresh? I don’t mind you being a sissy and all that. Hell, it is a bit of a turn on, but you are slutting your way into the poorhouse.

Well, what are we going to do?

I think you know what you need to do. Just head out to the corner of Watkins and Dover in that outfit, and I’m sure someone will pay you what your worth. And don’t come back until the car payment is taken care of!
 I didn't realize how much I had used of the original idea until I just pasted it up here. I mostly changed a bit of dialog to fit the picture better, and edited the content a bit for brevity's sake. TIFFANY and TIMOTHY were just filler names until I could decide who would be receiving it.

I really liked the idea of a guy being a sissy, and his wife complaining about the bills involved. Usually in sitcoms its the other way around, with the husband complaining about the amount of shoes she buys or the new dress she bought. I wanted to flip that around. Beauty is NOT cheap, regardless of how most TG captions and stories lead you to believe!

DISCUSSION QUESTION: How do you deal with ideas that come to you while you are not in a mode to caption? Do you have a text file, email the idea to yourself, jot it down on paper or a sticky note on your cell phone? Are you able to actually remember them if you don't do something to jog your memory later?

Monday, October 31, 2011

Happy Halloween Everyone!


Hope everyone is having a pleasant Halloween, watching the little goblins wander around begging for candy, and all the other fun associated with such a ghoulishly wonderful holiday.

Figure I'll leave you a little musical treat as well. Michale Graves (formerly of the Misfits) doing a compelling acoustic version of one of the best songs from Famous Monsters.


DISCUSSION QUESTIONS: Is it just me, or did there seem to be a dearth of Halloween themed TG captions this year? I mean, with all the various angles, is everyone burnt out on the idea of Halloween being a great tool for stories and captions?

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Happy Halloween .. a few days early!


It was 70 degrees a few days ago, now we are expecting a few inches of snow! My daughter is curled up with her boyfriend watching Saw IV right now, eating popcorn. A perfect pursuit on a Saturday evening right before Halloween. I'm not too happy about the boyfriend part of the equation, but at least she's not wearing a slutty costume right now at a party somewhere! Slutty Halloween costumes are supposed to be for ME, not her!

This is the costume she wants to wear for Halloween!

I am pretty sure that everyone that reads this blog knows that I'm a huge fan of Halloween. When I was growing up, my house was always the one that went the extra mile in giving out "tricks" along with treats (which was a piece of candy and a pencil.) After my mother died, other people in the neighborhood took up the mantel, so even 17 years later, there is always at least one house having fun, whether its a haunted garage (with sink that has bloody water flowing through it) or a campfire with scary stories being told by a wizard or witch. Because of this, I always go back to the old neighborhood and hand out candy with my dad. Even though we don't do anything special, it is something that links us back to my mom. Some of the parents still tell us about how we scared the hell out of THEM when they were their children's age!

I love Halloween, but I wouldn't want it to be Halloween everyday. I think it would tend to cheapen it somehow. I like it being SPECIAL! The first time I walk into a store and see a Halloween display, or hear commercials for a haunted train or hayride ... Getting ready for a horror movie marathon, or creating a Halloween mix CD for the car ... Catching good deals on candy, fishnets, and other things like skulls, headstones, weird flavors of Jones soda.

I am not sure I'll be posting on the actual date of Halloween. Depends on how busy I am at work. If I don't, I hope that everyone that reads this, and all those close to you, are safe and happy on Halloween. For those who celebrate Samhain, a Merry Meet to you my friends! Call out the elements in peace! Be blessed!

DISCUSSION QUESTION: What are your favorite Halloween memories? DO you enjoy Halloween more or less than when you were younger?

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Auto-closets and TG Universes


While this caption was made for Elly, I wanted to stretch my creative wings a bit, and do a caption that was pretty much set up in an established TG universe, specifically one that I'm not that fond of. The only one I really like is Spells R Us, and that is because its so open ended AND the guy in the bathrobe seems rooted in the ways of Kokopelli, the trickster and fertility deity.

I was/am pretty sure I'd never done an Auto-closet caption, and this picture fit the idea I was looking to make. I thought that the best way to work with it was to make it totally accidental, and the idea of looking for gifts came to mind, since I remember having my cousin look through my mom's closet rummaging for Christmas gifts .. all so I'd have a plausible denial if I was asked, "Did you go through my closet?" ... I hadn't but my cousin certainly did! I did reciprocate for him as well. My mom had much better taste in clothes than my aunt!

The further twist was my take on an O Henry type irony, just to rub the feminized wounds a bit more.

So I used this caption as a way to force myself to be creative with something I wasn't that enamored with as an exercise to make my overall writing better. Did I succeed? Well, I think I did, as I ended up liking this caption a lot more than I should have.

The main point is that we do need to stretch out and try different things so we don't get stale in our creative endeavors. Just because we have a certain wheelhouse zone for our captions, doesn't mean we can't wander around the landscape from time to time. Breakaway and level off the rut you find yourself in, and break free from your own expectations once in awhile!

DISCUSSION QUESTION: Perhaps this was discussed before, but What is your favorite TG universe and what is your least favorite? How often to you read/write captions with topics you don't think you'll like? Has it ever swayed you to like it any more than you used to? I will try to follow up on your responses in the next post or two.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

... and Don't Call Me Shirley!


This is one serious piece of fluff I made yesterday. I figured that Caitlyn would be stressing a bit with school, and would enjoy the distraction. I even named it "Caitlyn picked the wrong week to stop making captions" since that referenced another famous line from the movie.

I know that most captions are made to titillate, or evoke another emotion ... but I like making captions just to let others know I'm thinking about them. Its cheaper than Hallmark, and much more seductive too, huh?

Of course, the jokes are all from that classic 1980 movie, "Airplane" which I recently watched again on DVD, and then caught Airplane 2: The Sequel on Netflix. I love both movies, even though the Zucker brothers had disowned the sequel, and still haven't watched it. Watch them both if/when you can, it still holds up well now over 30 years later, and it never fails to lighten my mood.

I had the "Surely you must be joking" line in my head, and since Leslie Nielsen played a doctor in "Airplane" I thought of a nurse saying that line in a TG caption. From there it was easy to find a sexy nurse outfit for Caitlyn to be wearing, and it pretty much wrote itself. I wanted to follow up that line with another joke from the movie, so I played it through my head, and the "its a blank .. but that isn't important right now" just popped out at me. They actually use the "its a building with sick people in it .." so that worked just fine for me, and related back to a nurse and doctor speaking about what had happened.

DISCUSSION QUESTION: If money and situation weren't an issue, what would you dress up as for Halloween? Have you and someone else ever dressed up as partners of the opposite sex for a Halloween party? What was your best Halloween experience?

Friday, October 21, 2011

Question Answered .. and Ikea Furnishings!


I LOVE this caption, probably because I used some of the most amusing dialog I've ever thought up. I honestly had saved the photo because of the items in the background, and specifically the painting on the wall. The caption itself fits in with what I wanted to talk about today.

Let us see if I can answer this formspring question that was submitted months ago it seems. Alectra writes the following:

Can you imply the way someones talks in a cap? if so can you tell us how you do that?. For example: a character that uses broken sentences or talks without breathing(run on sentences)talks with a funny accent.Do you think that's difficult to add on a cap?

There are quite a few different ways to do what you are asking. One though has to deal with content, and the other has to do with formatting.

When it comes to making people speak broken English, as though they have been changed into a different ethic background, you first have to make sure you aren't stepping on too many toes. Stereotypes can be played with, but you have to be careful about going over the top and not being racially insensitive. For me, I usually go WAY over the top, so that no one knows there is any chance I am serious in what I am creating. Also, the protagonist in this caption is pretty much fulfilling what stereotypes HE believes in, so it softens the insensitivity a bit. At least I hope it does!

As I mentioned in a blog posting below, when I was doing the bad spelling/grammar in the Jillisa caption, I started with a correct version of what I wanted to say, then I adapted it from there. Its the same here when trying to figure out how you want the dialog to sound. Knowing how ESL people speak (English as a Second Language) helps when trying to whip up accent. For instance, French people (especially French Canadian) tend to have trouble with plurals. Perhaps an order from Dunkin Donuts might sound like, "I'd like a dozen glazed donut to go. Eet is aboot the best you can get, eh?" Yes, its a tad bit over the top, but most Boston accents aren't quite bad as "Pahk the Cah in Hahvud Yahd" either. After you work on grammar (like plurals, pronoun misusage and word order "throw the baby down the stairs a kiss") you should go through and find words that need to be pronounced differently and make a phonetic adjustment.

When it comes to elements like HOW they are talking, its a matter of how you wish to format and highlight it. For me, the best way to convey it is to adjust the font size and group the the words accordingly.

If it is in broken sentences, I would use the "..." between words and phrases to indicate a pause ("It was ... you .. all along .. wasn't it? I .. should have ... figured it out .. but I ... NO!")

To make a run-on sentence showing a lack of breath, I would probably make the font smaller and either group words into one chunk at a time ("whadoyoumeanIdunnowhatizgoin'on? Shaddupyouboogerhead!") or use many prepositional phrases slammed together without punctuation ("of course I knew what was going on with you and Steve behind the school after football practice while I was getting tutored by Jake for the French assignment I missed cuz my mother's car broke down on that stupid off ramp next to the mall with the really lame mani/pedi salon that does my toenails in friggin' pink like I'm some Hannah Montana watching, Beiber drooling mall rat like Becky! I mean, as if!")

If I can find a caption when I'm at home to illustrate this, I'll edit this post and add it in. If not, I think you hopefully get the idea.

DISCUSSION QUESTION: Anything I may have missed, or not quite clarified? I made this post while working, so I'm not sure how well it flows, since it was written in fits and starts over the last 2 hours or so. For those who create captions .. I don't notice as many captioners using dialog as much to show changes that happen in the storyline. Any reason why they, or you if you don't, use it more often?

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Robyn's Turn in the Barrel


Many captions I make are either based off of pop culture references, or come from some other sort of "shared collective".. and this caption was based on an old joke. I don't know the official etymology of where exactly it came from, but I know that its been told about the navy for a LONG time, and possibly comes from Britain. Can any reader back up that claim?

Here is a basic telling of the joke. In fact, I might first heard of it when reading "Gross Jokes" back in the late 1980's. You remember those books (the ones with dead baby and Helen Keller jokes) right?

This guy decides to join the Navy. On his first day of service, he gets acquainted with all the facilities around the ship he will be serving on. The guy asks the sailor showing him around, "What do you guys do around here when you get really horny after months of being out at sea?", to which the other replies, "Well, there is this barrel on the upper deck, just pump your cock in the side with the hole."

Weeks pass, and the new guy is getting real horny and remembers the barrel. He climbs to upper deck and sees the barrel. Flings his shlong out and starts fucking the barrel. Its simply the best feeling he had ever experienced, it was truly a success!

After he was done, zipped up and merrily walking along, the guy who originally told him about the barrel walks by. "That barrel really was great! I could do it every day!"

To which the other crew member replies, "Yeah, you can every day except Thursday." Confused, the new guy asks why, to which the other guy replies, "Because its your turn in the barrel on Thursday."
The punchline became slang in certain areas of work. Here is what the urban dictionary has for a definition...

(one's) turn in the barrel: 
    Signifies a dirty or unpleasant task that one must do since it is part of their share of the work and that others have taken their turn doing before them.  It sometimes referred to doing KP, but in times of combat might have been used to mean taking on a very dangerous chore (like walking point on recon). There is a vulgar joke associated with the phrase about soldiers putting their penises through a hole in a barrel to receive oral sex. When a new recruit asked who was in the barrel he was ordered to shut up. Several days later he was told it was his "turn in the barrel." This vulgar joke is the source of the phrase. In spite of its crude references I have heard Generals and Admirals on CNN use the term to describe taking their turn at an unpleasant task.
This caption pretty much leaped out of my fertile imagination while looking at ladies costumes online. When I saw the photo, for a moment I thought about the whole Milton Beryle "the IRS took everything" but then went right to the more smutty barrel idea. It wasn't too hard to figure out how to make it work as a TG caption. I think it is a fun, burlesque type caption, and my only real complaint is that the model is smiling too much, almost like she likes what she is doing, which perhaps she does! Of course, there is a very punny zinger tacked on at the very end. I know that quite a few people groaned, but hey, that is what puns are for!

DISCUSSION QUESTION: We've mentioned folklore here in this blog before, but what "historical" jokes and riddles could be used to make TG captions? I know there HAVE to be a few "farmer's daughter / traveling salesman" captions out there. Have you seen any of those? What other humor chestnuts can you think of that would translate well to the TG genre?

Friday, October 14, 2011

Wishing peepulz a Hoppy Birfday


I don't think I've posted this one before. Its hard to figure out sometimes if I've duplicated a caption. I had no real topic that came into my mind for this blog, and I did post yesterday, so I went into the Haven and just randomly picked a caption out from the pile.

One of the things I like to do is acknowledge peoples birthdays from time to time, especially those that make a difference on the Haven. Usually when I make them, its with humor, and addresses the actual person that hangs around the Haven, not their persona/namesake. They are, I guess, 'semi-meta' in that I take their real life and their on-line life and sort of mesh them together.

Jillisa is a stickler for spelling and grammar, and always has a strong opinion. I have no problems with that, though I know it makes it hard on some others, especially some newbies. However, I think she's harnessed that streak into becoming one of the best proofreaders out there. I know that she has helped quite a few of the people reading this blog.

That being said, it is fun to tweak her and how she presents herself sometimes.  The above caption is a good representation of how you can tweak in a pleasant way. I mean, look at her! I'm not sure the REAL Jeff would give up his smarts to be and look like that, but I wouldn't necessarily bet against it either! As someone like Jillisa, I am quite adept at proofreading and it was quite hard to make that last paragraph at first. I got around it by writing it first correctly, then degrading it as best I could. Thinking like a bimbo can be like ... umm, totally hard and stuff *giggle*


Though not an actual birthday caption, this falls into the category of a 'semi-meta' caption I made for Jennifer. She loves Mila, and loves blow-jobs. However we also know that she wouldn't just take ANY offer that was presented to her! She's has to do her due diligence before just hopping in any guys car. I mean, what if they weren't large enough, or able to produce enough cum for it to be worth her time and effort?

And yes, its a caption I did in Comic Life (made about 3 years ago!) I never really got comfortable with the program and quickly went back to Photoshop. Maybe I'll post the others at a later date. I do think that Comic Life did work well for this caption, if I do say so myself.

DISCUSSION QUESTION:  The leaves SHOULD be changing color soon here in New England (it was actually 85 on Sunday!) so ... How would you like to change over the next year? It be can in real life, your online life, habits and/or ruts, whatever. Do you resist change or embrace it?

PS. I was proofing this, and its fun to see that Mozilla Firefox knows that "blowjobs" is NOT a word, and suggests either "blow-jobs" or "blow jobs".

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Working for the BoA


This was something I wrote for Bren, who has probably been my friend the longest on the Haven. We both started around the same week or two, and figured out many of the intricacies of the Haven on our own.

I posted this one to the blog because I've noticed a few people are posting on the Haven that they are currently in the middle of a writer's block, and hope to get over it soon. I figured I would hit upon a few things that might help others.

I don't want to admit this because some people might be pissed that I've made a shit ton of captions and it might sound like a brag, but I rarely get writer's block. For me, the delay is mostly imparted by a lack of time and availability to make captions. I think there are 2 main reasons why I am not often stumped for ideas when it comes to creativity.

One is that I don't usually put much pressure on myself to (a) make a caption, and (b) make a GOOD/GREAT caption. If the thing sucks, it sucks, and oh well, I'll get 'em the next time around. I think I've gotten to a point that, at worst, my caption is going to be rated "meh" and I can live with that LOL Most of the time, I won't even stress that much if its not flowing well. I will just save it, and try to revisit it another day. There has been quite a few captions that I've rescued out of the old graveyard and re-purposed with either a newer picture, or a modified story. Talk about being green and recycling, huh?

The other thing is that I tend to make things that are a moment in time, and nothing that has an overreaching arch. I find an anchor point, and craft everything else around it. I will let my mind meander around that point to flesh out something in my mind, but I don't have to include all those details IN the caption. That way there is always a focus.

Since I often do "a moment in time" captions, I can do use just about anything that happens in my life, or in the life of others that I know. Just reading the web for information, I can jog my mind to see a TG moment lurking somewhere underneath the surface of the story. In the above caption, I took a real life and current happenstance, and related it into a TG plot line. For those that don't know, Bank of America is instituting a monthly bank fee of 5 dollars for most of its customers, just for using a debit card. This is on top of whatever other fees they collect for the individual transaction and other fees. Naturally there is an outrage among customers.

Banks piss people off. I would imagine they piss off magical beings as well. Doesn't seem like a stretch to think that THIS scenario would happen and happen fairly often in the Haven realm of worlds. I took it up a notch by showing that it was getting tiring for Bren, and that this thing has happened before. I wanted to show the drudgery of daily life, where even a TG magic event was just another annoyance in an average person's day. "So yeah, I was stuck in traffic, the network went down, I was turned into a girl, and they were out of hummus at the deli! Thank god I'm home!"

DISCUSSION QUESTION:  Do you need the TG element of captions to be fantastic, life-changing and the complete center of the whole thing, or do you like them to be a sub-plot or piece of a whole puzzle? What is a good percentage of "actual change" to "rest of the story" when you are reading (and/or creating) a caption?

Friday, October 7, 2011

(Wo)man of La Mancha .. and questions

A few "questions" to get to today.

First up is this one ..

Which would make you happier to create? A cap that you don't think is very good, but is VERY well received, or a cap that you think is great, but receives no comments whatsoever?

  Well, I thought that Simone gave a pretty good answer on her blog, though for the life of me, I can't remember exactly what she said. That's actually a good thing though, because I don't want to rip off her answer.


I like this caption, quite a bit actually. At the Haven, it only received one comment, and that was from the recipient, Kaitlyn. I don't mind though, because I don't think it would appeal to anyone other than some other captioners. It doesn't have a typical plot, and other than Kaitlyn's name, I went out of my way to only use some monologues from "Man of La Mancha". I really made this for myself, and since Kaitlyn is someone that enjoys the 'art' of caption making, I think she realized how hard it was to do.

I really think that if you want to increase your skill, in no matter what you do, you have to think outside the box sometimes, and rage against conventional thinking from time to time. This was my way of restricting myself, hoping to push my creative boundaries. I wanted to take the words and apply them to a TG story and make them at least feel organic. Part of the story is based on "The Impossible Dream" and for many people, becoming what they truly are is just that .. and that they are "really just tilting at windmills" to relate it back to the caption. I tried to tie that all into this caption, without much explanation, and stay true to what I was making.

Happiness is twofold in the way I make captions, since 99 percent of them are created for another person.

The main thing is that if the recipient doesn't like what I've created, then I can't be happy about that. I must say that I have created crappy captions (in my mind) that the recipient LOVED, along with many other people. I KNOW they are crap, but they are right in the wheelhouse of many other readers. It makes me happy that people enjoy it AND perhaps they'll check out something more oddball or offbeat I've created that could blow their minds and make them think outside their normal realm, all because they remembered me from that other work I created.

The other sort of happiness is when I feel that I have set a goal and accomplished it. Using an odd picture that no one else would think to use, or picking a topic that most would NOT even touch (for instance, the JFK assassination, or 9/11). Something that will stretch my captioning prowess and keep me interested in doing this. I've made over 1k captions, and somewhere around 1300 panels. I've done that consistently over the last 3+ years, without little in the way of burnout or many leaves of absence. I try not to repeat myself too much, so it is the twists and turns that keep me from falling into a rut. When it stops being fun, that it when I'll step aside. God bless those that can crank out hundreds of captions all dealing with the same theme! I need to wander around the landscape or my ADD will kick in!

Here's two that I combined into one ...

I LOVE HYPNOSIS!!! PLEASE DO MORE!!! This is the same random hypnosis fan, and I can truly say I love it. A change on what I'm used to, but I look forward to more hypnosis from you :)

There will definitely be some more on the way, but I was sort of disappointed in the lack of response to an offer of literally, "I will MAKE a caption if you give me a idea I can work with, specifically in one of these genre's that people keep asking for." If any of those people in the left column said to me, "Hey Dee, got any ideas about a caption you'd like to see?" I would probably jump all over that and probably reply "Well, I've never seen a caption based on welding, how about that?" Honestly, I thought this was the perfect time for someone that hadn't made a caption before to get a first hand look on how it can be done. Oh well!

There is one question left in the queue, which is Alectra's .. a posting all its own, and one that I am going to have to go through the archives to pull out a few captions that will illustrate what I want to talk about. Since it is quite a bit of work for that, it will have to wait for another day.

DISCUSSION QUESTION: Can you appreciate a caption for what it was trying to do, even if you didn't really enjoy it? Also, what is the best way to handle a caption you've received that you just had no connection with? Should you tell the person in a comment, an instant message, or just parse your words in such a way that it sort of seems like a compliment but with less conviction?