Saturday, February 23, 2013

The Philosopher's Stoned

Its a LOCKE that I KANT imagine putting DESCARTE before Deshorse!

Made this one for Dalene, who is offering a 2 for 1 bimbo captions deal at the haven for this weekend only. I didn't submit it for that, since I am only implying bimbo as the transformee's new hero is Snooki, so take that as you wish. For some reason, when I viewed the photo I used, the plot line pretty much came up as its written, and how many times do you see both Snooki AND Sir Thomas Aquinas referenced in the same TG caption, eh? Perhaps this caption is a better insight into the working brain of Dee than anything else I've ever done!

Here's something I was writing yesterday while at work, awaiting others work that I needed to compile into a report that HAD to be due that day for business purposes. The deadline for submission was that night of course and I would have to proof what they had written and make sure all the numbers were consistent, etc ...and I was at the end of my rope so to speak with waiting. Its pretty serious so its up to you if you wish to tackle it, but I hope its worth it if you do read on.

Loss of control. I think that is the worst thing that could ever happen to me. Not even necessarily LOSING control of a situation, but the feeling that I don't have it and never really did. I like to think that I always have my ducks all lined up carefully and strategically placed exactly where I want them. I have an uncanny sense of what is going to happen, and usually can anticipate deviations before they actually change, and however I adapt is planned on that forethought. I'm also good at thinking on my feet and ad-libbing as need be. Sometimes though, things I hadn't thought about spring up, and I am truly gob-smacked. Knowing that my fate is determined by someone else, regardless of their skill level, and especially if they seem inept, drives me insane.

While I am firmly in the lower income bracket socioeconomically, I've not had to rely on anyone since my late teens. I have moved from one job to the next without a break. When I give a two week notice, that next Monday I start at the next position. I am currently in my 8th year with the present company, and spent 5 years at the previous job, and 3 years at the one before that with part time 2nd jobs for all but my current employment situation, which I will probably try to pick up a 2nd job so I may be able to get another vehicle. It scares me to think that at some point I could be unemployed and lose what little place I have secured in my life.

The worst feeling of lack of control I've ever had was when my mom was dying of cancer almost 20 years ago. There was not a single fucking thing I could do to stop it. I helped manage her care and ran what was left of her business while starting out in college, but I COULD NOT STOP THE INEVITABLE, only delay it and make her as comfortable as she could be. My band was in rehearsal for a small tour when she took her last turn for the worst, and I missed her death in the hospital by about 20 minutes, which made me think, "If I was HERE, she wouldn't have died then!" like I had the actual power to stop an aneurysm that probably helped my mom die in peace.

I need to let go sometimes and give someone else the steering wheel, but then I end up being a backseat driver. I need to relax and let stress roll off me, and comprehend that the world doesn't revolve around me. I know that it doesn't but what I do in my life is often the foundation on what others can do and while I enjoy being that, it doesn't give me faith that they can do what they need to do without my guidance.

Its why I don't take vacations (willingly) and when I do take time off, its for other purposes that have nothing to do with leisure and avoiding burnout ... usually its to recover from illness or to fulfill duties that I have to take care of. Other than the fact that I cannot remove myself from the endless cycle for financial reasons, I'm not sure I *COULD* let up even if I had the means to do so.

I guess that could be a reason why I enjoy making captions like I do, where often its a whim as to why someone is transformed and fate is just cast off into the breeze. I get to indulge in some escape, even though I am the one controlling it .. the thought that I may not have a say in whatever happens to me is a needed release. It hasn't escaped me that *I* am the one controlling others fates as in each caption, I am their goddess and enforce their destiny. I get that, but I try to leave both the beforehand and the ending as open as possible so that people can color their own back story and fate as they see fit. Its almost an experiment in sociology in how I make these things. Someone has a life they are comfortable with, or not comfortable with ... and I change something and see how their lives are changed, and how they deal with it.

DISCUSSION QUESTION: Feel free to talk about anything that was talked about up above, including just the caption if you wish. How often do you think about being in a TG SIMLIFE game would affect you or your friends and family? What would be the impact on society and those you care about if the things we do to others in TG captions were a means of adapting our own reality?

Lyrics from video:
Do you feel what I feel, see what I see, hear what I hear?
There is a line you must draw between your dream world and reality.
Do you live my life or share the breath I breathe?

Lies feed your judgement of others,
Behold, how the blind lead each other.
The philosopher, you know so much about nothing at all.

Ideas that fall under shadows of theories that stand tall.
Thoughts that grow narrow upon being verbally released.
Your mind is not your own,
what sounds more mentally stimulating is how you make your choice.
So you preach about how I'm supposed to be, 

yet you don't know your own sexuality.

Lies feed your judgement of others,
Behold, how the blind lead each other.
The philosopher, you know so much about nothing at all.


  1. I have very little to say to this, not because I have little to say, but because I think you said it all. Not only can I relate it sounds like you were narrating what was in my head!

    My own life, at the moment, is all about a loss of control. Since 2010 in fact. And I hate that.

    Dee, I could rant on this all night and not say anything different or better than what you said.

    I finish with the lame sounding, but no less well meant, thank you for sharing!

    1. Well, I am glad I was able to put into words the way you've been thinking. Its why I love music so much, the combination of words and the emotion that the music puts forth can paint your life with so many different shades of colors.

      I know that the music above doesn't match the words, but that IS death metal in a nutshell!

  2. I must say, that pun filled tagline had me rolling in laughter! Very clever! Cute cap too!

  3. Dee, I can sympathize with you feelings although I can't share them exactly. While you struggle to remain in control, I struggle with gaining that control. I've had a single two-year stretch where I felt that I had control of my life. Two years. Even in those few years I felt that I was just getting used to steering my own destiny. The rest of the time I've just been looking up and wondering what that would feel like.

    So now a days when I hear about someone losing control... having their fate determined by something or someone else... I just freeze up. In my head I'm eloquent and graceful with my words and actions of comfort, but in reality I'm silently standing by. I hate being that way, but I freeze up as my mind spins out of control, hoping that they can get out of their current predicament. A good example is this comment... I read your post here shortly after it was posted, but I just couldn't respond. I couldn't even push myself up to say 'Nice cap' (and it is a fun cap!), or respond to your discussion question. I was stuck in a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions that further demonstrated to me that I don't have control.

    I don't think this feeling affects my caps... at least not on a conscious level. But if I keep this feeling in mind and look back at my caps, I see that I'm often annihilating my subject's level of control. That whole 'Good Guy in the Wrong Place' scenario can be described as someone losing all control (over their situation, mind, body and gender) for no reason whatsoever. Maybe... maybe I'm just pouring out my own feelings onto unsuspecting others.

    1. I'm sure the mood that you have when making the caption can influence what goes into it, even if its just a smidgen.

  4. Snooki as a great philosopher?? 2013 sure was a different time lol

    Great caption!