Wednesday, November 30, 2011

The Retail Price of Womanhood

Something I created for Polecat yesterday. Figured I would post something really fresh and new, since it was currently one of the most recent ones I have made.

I think its pretty straightforward in narrative, and has the zinger that he's not going back to being a guy just quite yet. It looks like he's going to end up learning all about the inequities that could be associated with being female.

I saw the picture and really admired how awesome that bra truly is, and the comfort that it must provide the wearer. Knowing that my daughter has issues with cheap bras, I sort of wrote it from her perspective, but using me as a character. If she had "Dee" powers, I'm sure she'd have used them the same way as presented in the caption.

Quality is something to be looked for when it comes to things for women. Guys can usually get by with bulk socks and underwear, basic pants and shirts, even shoes (unless you are talking about work boots for people that actually work!) whereas women's footwear can hurt the wearers toes, arch, and heel; bras can pinch, bind, and stab; undies can sag or crawl up their crack; nylons can run, etc ..

Other than the work boots I mentioned above, or perhaps stain-resistant clothing .. I can't really think of many things that guys buy strictly for comfort, forgoing cheaper, off-made brands. Perhaps it is because I'm frugal and poor! Maybe we have some rich guys out there that will swear they can't wear anything that isn't silk shirts or 9k thread count sheets, but most guys I know skimp on money, and don't lose too much on the quality end of the deal.

Anyway, back to where I started. A few people on the Haven were commenting on a part of the caption I didn't really see, and I want to know if people are reading it the same way, and that I missed something. Here are a few of the comments:
Interesting revenge cap. Nice job.
 Oh Dee, Oh Dee, You are a vengeful little bitch, aren't you? I love you!
 Its always great to get feedback. My question is, did the caption seem to you that Dee was trying to get revenge on her hubby? I was looking at is as a way to have a "teaching moment" more so than an actual punishment. Perhaps using this persuasive sales pitch would change his mind as their both shared a harsh experience then a positive reinforcement (aka badly made bra, then upgraded to a well designed, pretty one.) The same could be said at the end once they are both walking in much better footwear (he'll definitely walk a mile in her shoes that way!) I did leave it open-ended as to when/if he changes back into a man so that the recipient and reader will fill in their own blanks, and foreshadowed him thinking a bit like a woman when he mentioned 'his boobs'.

I made this caption 1000 pixels wide, as discussed in a prior blog entry. It is my first at that format size, and I made the decision after reading what others had posted. This made for a good test run, since the source picture was HUGE! I was able to shrink it down, but still have more picture that I usually do when I was doing 850 pixels wide.

DISCUSSION QUESTION: Did it seem that Dee was being vengeful? Or was it more of a Rorschach type caption where people can read whatever they like into it, where you will find exactly what you like to read, in between the lines? Do you like the somewhat bigger caption size?

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

The Acting Bug ... Pilgrim Bitches in Heat!

Something I wrote a few years ago when I was messing around with Comic Life. The best part is how I followed it up with the second panel which is right below this paragraph, once I finish typing.

Truthfully, I think I started writing the first caption, and the play on Miles Standish just seemed too juicy to not use in a more salacious way, which led to "PILGRIM BITCHES IN HEAT"!!!

My original posting to SassyLass was this:
I took time off from the pleasures of a college assignment in Javascript to make you a joyous Thankgiving type of caption.

You just know that the girls did your make up using a Mayflower Compact!!! HAHAHAHAHA OY VEY!!!

The "typo" in the 1st box is deliberate ... Coloinial ... it's called foreshadowing bitches!! Any others are the fault of me and me alone.

Hope everyone enjoys this caption, as you WILL learn things, like there really was a John Lancemore on the Mayflower who was a laborer for Christopher Martin.
Who'd have thunk that the Pilgrims had some porno quality names? Hope you like this goofy yet fun Thanksgiving caption. I don't think I'll be posting on Turkey Day, and if I do post on Black Friday, it wouldn't be too early since I'll be having a few laughs with some social mischief in the stores and in the parking lots. Hopefully no one will pull a gun on me ... why so serious?

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS: Vent away people! Any topics you want me to cover? Any genres I haven't posted lately that needs a little love thrown its way by yours truly? What alcohol should I move onto next (currently drinking SoCo and pineapple juice)?

Yours, Mine, and Ours .. I WANT HALF!

Been a few days since I last posted, and it seems the blog has tumbleweeds wandering through it. Not sure if I am not getting good enough discussion questions, or perhaps they are too hard or demanding?

Anyway, this is one of my favorites. I just love the idea behind the caption, and I wish someone like Belladonna would take it and make a full fledged story out of it. Who says there can't be a Divorces R' Us around to help out couples looking to split their assets/ Here is what I wrote around the time the caption was posted:
99 percent of the time I have the pictures 1st, then write stories for them later. I try to save pictures for people that I think they'd go well with, and considering some of the preferences of Ron, I had this one saved for awhile before I came up with the plot above. I was chatting with a friend online that has been having marital issues AND was looking at this picture at the same time, and VIOLA! I've got a foundation for a caption!
Of course, the whole Eddie Murphy routine, "HALF! I WANT HALF!" was going through my mind when I wrote this.

I hope everyone has a wonderful Turkey Day and Black Friday afterwards, and that you and your family is safe, secure, and out of harm's way.

DISCUSSION QUESTION: I know its come up before, but what do you think the perfect width for a caption should be? I'm wondering because I was at 850 as a max for a long time, due to the Haven restrictions, but its since been lifted. I'm thinking that most people have widescreen monitors by now. What is your screen resolution set to, and should I increase mine to 1024 pixels or so? Also, feel free to comment on the captions!

Thursday, November 17, 2011

I Played by the Rules! .. Happy Life Day!

This caption is another storyline that I had roaming around my noggin for quite a while, and I had emailed it to myself a number of months back. Its a basic plot point that some TV shows and movies use as a device .. a boss is retiring or leaving and is finding a replacement. There is usually some sort of contest based on sales or whatever, and the candidates are pitted against each other with every sort of dirty trick, etc .. being played.

After seeing all the shenanigans going on with government and big business, I wanted to turn this plot point on its head. Even now, as I watch all the presidential candidates debating, its amazing how self righteous they all seem to portray themselves. I don't think that anyone in power has a clean sheet, as the higher you rise, the more dirty your laundry tends to be. The person most people think of as the worst president of the last 50 years (I'm discounted Bush Jr because there hasn't been enough time yet to really look back) was Jimmy Carter, who most people would also probably say was the nicest and most virtuous of the presidents of the last half century.

So then, what we have here is a "good guy to good girl" caption, which is somewhat rare to see. The other thing about this caption that is somewhat rare is its one of the 2 percent I write that isn't driven by a picture. I could have used any number of business oriented pictures for the caption and it probably would not have affected the plot much at all. Sammie likes redheads, so that is why I used this particular photo.

On an unrelated note, today is Life Day. so make sure wear your red robe and wave your crystal ball things up high. For those that aren't sure what that means, here is a quick little video to help you out.


DISCUSSION QUESTION: How much of your morals and world views do you bring into your captions? Is it easy to fake a different philosophy when creating for others that don't hold the same values that you do?  Have you ever seen the Star Wars Holiday Special?

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

"Chemical Warfare" .. a guest caption!

I ended up with a question in my formspring from Simone .. well it wasn't exactly a question, but more of a followup to a question I had asked her on her blog about a week ago.
Turn About is Fair Play - Which of the captions I've done for you is your favorite and why?
Certainly is a fair question, so I went back into the archives. The one above is probably my favorite one.

Why? For quite a few reasons actually. First off, it has a pretty good sense of humor.  secondly, I look pretty friggin' hot. I have a gas mask that almost looks like that, and almost the same pentacle (though I'm not sure where it is now.)

Probably the main reason I like it though is due to its meta-ness. Its a caption for the REAL Damien/Dee, not for the Damien character that turns into Dee in captions on the Haven. Its the wink-and-nod to the existence of the Haven, and brings it to a hyper-reality. The plot mentions other people we know in the Haven, and references Simone's travels to Asia for business reasons. Its just fun all around.

The best part is that you don't really need to know any of the in-jokes for people to enjoy it.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you ...

... just happy to see me? I was chatting the other day with Simone, making a caption or two, but mostly just looking for pictures ... either to make an instant caption, or store on the hard drive for later use. When I saw this photo, the punchline came immediately. I didn't think it would really fit the preferences for anyone in particular, so I knew I could just write it as straight forward as it needed to be.

I think an alternative title could be, "A Gun Moll at a Gun Mall" but I could probably hear your collective groans over that one without need for amplification!

So, anyway, this caption became a "Dee-lusions of Grandeur" Exclusive. I need to see how many others I've only done for the blog. I know I did the "10 Commandments" one. I think I need to officially make am "blog exclusive" tag ... and actually post a few of them occasionally, just to keep people on their toes!

The last thought about this caption is that it seems like a lost episode of "The Adventures of Letterman!" that appeared on the original Electric Company on PBS during the 70's and early 80's.

Electric Company also had the song "Silent E" which would change things just with one letter.

So, to recap ... letters are much more powerful than one can imagine!

DISCUSSION QUESTION: Well, how about imagining how powerful letters CAN be? Got any ideas that could be turned into a caption .. where ONE letter can make a complete difference in someone's life? I don't mean like an M becoming an F on a driver's license, but something along the lines of the videos,

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

C'mon in .. the water's fine!

Don't think I'd done any Bikini Beach captions before, so this was a new arena to work in. I remember most of the stories when they originally came out, and it might be the 2nd oldest TG universe (other than Spells R Us) that is still being used from time to time.

Please read/view the caption first before continuing to read this blog entry.

I am not sure if someone wrote a story that mirrors the one I wrote here, but it wouldn't shock me. If there was such a thing as Bikini Beach, I would think this might happen a lot. Its what came to mind when I saw this picture, thinking about how "make a wish" kids often want to spend time in the water with dolphins, and how gentle they can be with people with medical issues (the compassion is amazing, considering that its been proven that dolphins can/will rape.)

Any problems I encountered with making this were of the .. how far should I go in dealing with something serious that has had to effect almost every viewer of the caption? I wanted to put some levity in, and show a new start .. and show apprehension ... all without making it a complete and utter downer.

What I did was try to put everything the reader needed to know in subtle hints, as the last thing I wanted to do was make it cloying and heavy handed. Making a story and setting up the "read between the lines" is not the easiest thing to do. I'm hoping that even though I left it vague, most readers know what was going on (the results were probably debilitating at best, and possibly terminal), and why Tom's wife did what she did.

I made this for Shauna because she's had some medical issues, and thought she'd appreciate the thought behind it. Its always hard to feel your way through a topic like this, but I figured she would be up for it.

This caption would not be very successful (and I am proud of it, trust me) if it wasn't for the picture. That photo sells the new life and opportunity that Shauna has been presented with, and it, in my mind at least, balances the seriousness of the initial situation, not only makes the ending more lighthearted, but also showing a shot of redemption for both of them.

I know why people don't often attempt to do captions or stories like this. Then again, I'm not like most people and want to see what I can do when I'm inspired. There isn't a Bikini Beach out there, but there are REAL organizations out there that try to fulfill the wishes of those less in less fortunate positions. Please make sure you remember them this year during the holiday season. Sometimes the smallest acts of kindness can have the biggest impact.

DISCUSSION QUESTION: How did your initial reaction to the caption match up with the discussion? Did I do a good enough job conveying what I had tried to lay out? I really don't mind people venting that they don't like this caption, it's too depressing, etc ... Tell me how you feel.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Something just came up .. Oh Shit! It's me!

I keep forgetting to email myself a caption I made the other day that didn't particularly fit anyone's preferences, so I was going to post it as an exclusive to my blog. Sooooo, I will have to wait until I can actually get it emailed to myself if I plan on posting it while at work.

Anyway, Jennifer had a great question in the comments:
Is there a specific genre that you associate with a certain fetish? or is all fair game? For example, do you prefer your pantyhose fetish to always have a hypnosis theme? 
 I don't mind mixing and matching, but there are some things that just seem to line up better. For instance, for those that have a fetish for latex ("wave to the audience Alectra!") I think that it goes well with submission and domination. It also works well with bodysuits.

I am a big fan of pantyhose/stockings. I don't think that there is any real definitive genre where it fits best. I know it REALLY fits well in a office/work place setting or a fancy dress / prom / wedding setting .. regardless of whether its a magical / technological caption or story .. or in a realistic way for cross-dressing subjects as evidenced by the above caption for Alectra.

I am a fan of hypnosis captions, and am a big fan of pantyhose. Something involving both is probably bound to nail at least one of those buttons, and hopefully many more that go along with other preferences. Both those preferences go well though with acting extremely or 'over the top' feminine and some humiliation too. I guess that I am lucky that what I am into keeps my preferences easy to caption.

DISCUSSION QUESTION: What are some things that don't seem to match up very well? Perhaps we can get some mix-matched ideas that I/we might be able to work through and overcome whatever issues we think keep them from being compatible.Which things really go well together that I haven't mentioned up above?

Friday, November 4, 2011

The Piano has been Drinking .. not me!

I made this caption while listening to Tom Waits, and it influenced/guided the story. I was going for the feel of Tom's 70's output, which was the sleazy alternative side of Frank Sinatra's legendary output of the 50's, with the sad sack in the bar at closing time. Ron likes women that have been transformed and are still wearing some sort of masculine attire, so when I found this picture, all the main parts lined up perfectly.

The same day I did this one, I also did one for "Little Drop of Poison" .. but that is a post for another time!

DISCUSSION QUESTION: Anything you'd like to see posted next? I don't want just a "BBW" or something like that. I want a particular genre BUT with a specific question in regards to which one you would like to see.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Lifestyles of the Broke and Fabulous!

Well, I had this idea for a LONG TIME. When I come up with a snippet or idea for a caption, and I'm at work, I'll email that little nugget to myself, so that I can look at it when I have the time. If I don't write them down, I'll usually forget about them later (which is why sometimes I give them to others when I'm chatting in IM's ...either they can use them or I will forget and those ideas will just die.)

I keep them all in the same email .. called story ideas. Not all of them will be used, but I do ponder each one. I hadn't looked at the email list in quite some time, so I figured there had to be a few things there I could use for captions that I owe to others. I had a good 10 or so to choose from, and I think I made 3 of them within the last week or so, including the one I posted with the Airplane references for Caitlyn.

My only problem with doing it this way is .. I don't normally have pictures to fill out the captions, so these captions take more time to make. I have to hunt around, either on websites, or rummaging through my photo folders. I don't necessarily mind doing it this way, as the ideas tend to be already fleshed out, and while I'm looking, I will always hit a picture that leads to another caption. For instance, I think I made 2 captions while trying to find a photo for this one.

The reason I had trouble finding a picture was that I wanted a certain look, not only of a model and what she was wearing, but the look on her face. This photo HAD that look, though she wasn't as dressed up as I wished she was, but went along with it anyway. That means I had to alter what I had quickly jotted down in my email. Here is what I had originally:
Look TIFFANY babe, we are friggin broke! We can’t afford to do that, and the bank is not going to let us borrow against the house, since the property values have dropped these last few years.

How can we have no money? I make a good salary as a App Developer and the house is all paid off. Don’t we have a few bank accounts we can tap?

Ummm, TIMOTHY? How do you think you were able to pay for hair plugs, those big boobs, or the constant trips to the salon to keep your nails fresh? I don’t mind you being a sissy and all that. Hell, it is a bit of a turn on, but you are slutting your way into the poorhouse.

Well, what are we going to do?

I think you know what you need to do. Just head out to the corner of Watkins and Dover in that outfit, and I’m sure someone will pay you what your worth. And don’t come back until the car payment is taken care of!
 I didn't realize how much I had used of the original idea until I just pasted it up here. I mostly changed a bit of dialog to fit the picture better, and edited the content a bit for brevity's sake. TIFFANY and TIMOTHY were just filler names until I could decide who would be receiving it.

I really liked the idea of a guy being a sissy, and his wife complaining about the bills involved. Usually in sitcoms its the other way around, with the husband complaining about the amount of shoes she buys or the new dress she bought. I wanted to flip that around. Beauty is NOT cheap, regardless of how most TG captions and stories lead you to believe!

DISCUSSION QUESTION: How do you deal with ideas that come to you while you are not in a mode to caption? Do you have a text file, email the idea to yourself, jot it down on paper or a sticky note on your cell phone? Are you able to actually remember them if you don't do something to jog your memory later?