Come inside to see how preferences can change a caption, maybe for the better?
The first version is the one posted up above, and the modified/final version is the 2nd one.
Wrote this up, went to publish it, then looked at Drew's preferences again and missed the "no machines" part of her preferences. Went back and tried to rewrite it more to take away much of the "machine nature" of it to emphasize the heat and water aspects in the change. Not sure how well I succeeded since I believe that she is currently on her actual honeymoon. Once she gets back, I'm guessing she'll let us know how well we did on the "Save the Haven" fund-raiser.
So, what do you think of the differences? I am not sure if I made a few other changes before I had saved the 1st version because I wanted to show the contrasts. I think what I "fixed" is fairly superficial; technically he's still turning into a version of his wife's mother. Just how I worded the changes and how exactly the changes took place is the difference. Even the word "tube" changed into "cube" seemed to make it feel less impersonal for some unknown reason.
Since I haven't heard back from Drew, and no one else commented on it, I would love to hear from my followers what you think of the caption in general, and which do you think was more effective in getting the story across? This seems like another one of those ideas I had that might work better as a short fiction story, where the process can be gotten into much more detail .. and show the after-effects .. which to me is just as interesting to me. Will the parents think he's still a fuck-up but maybe a TG fuck-up or understand he was trying to be nice? What will the fiance think? How does Drew act, more like his old self, or like his future wife's aunt/sister/mother? Is it temporary or permanent?
Tell me what you think happens when the caption ends?
Here's a fun video .. Weird Al did one official cover song each night on this current tour. It was the 1st encore and he never repeated a tune. In chronological order, he's a clip from each encore he performed in 2018. It's 27 minutes of pure fun!
I would have replied sooner, but the story took a little more time than expected.
ReplyDeleteTo me the method of change doesn't make much difference. With the first version I like the mentioning of drew’s bikini lines, but with the second I like that there is no mention of permanent make-up. It's not
that I dislike permanent make-up, but In my case I would prefer to have to do it myself.
A possible continuation of your cap:
*When Drew came home to his fiancée, she was shocked at first to see a woman entering the house who looked like herself, if she would use the same style of fashion as her mother. For a brief moment she thought she had an older sister, or her mother a way younger one. Could it really be?
The illusion was shattered when the woman started to talk, and it was Drew's voice that came from those lips. When Drew explained the situation, she started to laugh uncontrollably. Part because it was really funny, and part because her nerves were on edge. This really could ruin her wedding.
When she finally came to herself she realized she still wanted to marry Drew, but it was best that he didn't get to make any decisions for now. At least until after the wedding. She first called the spa to see if the changes could be reversed. Some could in time for the wedding, like Drew's hair could be cut, and colored to his former hairstyle.
Others like the reshaping of his body could not. His breast would return to normal in four to five months by themselves, but his groin would need help. However the procedure could not be performed for another three months, or the best case scenario would be that he would never become a father. Neither of them wanted to think about the worst case. But all that could be hidden for the wedding with the right clothing.
His face however was a different matter. Even when they made his body and hairstyle appear male, His face would still be female. A face screaming "MOM". She called her maid of honor, and Drew's best man to consult them on what to do, in the meantime trying to console Drew about his misfortune. Both came with the same solution. If she didn't mind another bride at her wedding, Drew was to become a bride instead of a groom.
She was reluctant at first, How could she trust Drew to find a wedding dress, and if Drew was to go as a bride, than he had to shine like one as well. And with Drew having unwillingly adopted her mother's style, her mother was the best bet to find Drew a wedding dress.
To her surprise her mother was ecstatic to help. To her mother it was like a chance to find herself a wedding dress again, while to her father it was all a big joke.
Drew's mother loved the opportunity to be the mother of the bride again. His father was not so happy about the situation, but it turned out that that was because he had to pay for a dress on top of the tux Drew already had.
Drew's best man suggested that Drew now at least needed a maid of honor as well, not only to help the bride with the usual duties of a maid of honor, but also to help Drew adjust to his temporary new lifestyle, how to sit, speak, behave. How to do his make-up, style his hair for regular days.
Drew's sister was happy to help with that. A little too happy to Drew's taste and he dreaded the moment he would have to go Dress shopping with his sister, mother and mother in law. Indeed, even after the women had decided on the wedding dress for Drew, they made him wear dozens of others.
The day finally arrived. It was weird for Drew to be walked down the aisle by his dad, while at the same time his fiancée was walked down the aisle by her dad. Drew looked amazing in his ball gown dress, while his fiancée looked like a dream in her mermaid dress. Not only his fiancée glowed, but even Drew radiated like a real bride, and after they finally gave vows it was a magical moment when Drew kissed his wife.*
I didn't read Drew's prefs, so I hope I didn't go astray too far.