Thursday, December 3, 2015

Slutty Is, As Slutty Does .. on a bench!

From back when a girl on a bench was just a girl on a bench!

Made this over 5 years ago, and I'm pretty sure it hasn't been put up here on the blog yet.

Saw a girl on a bench and somehow it turned into a Forrest Gump inspired caption. Not sure that this needs any explanation, in that even Forrest would understand what happened. It was also inspired by something Lewis Black had said in one of his routines about sitting at an IHOP late one night and overheard a young girl saying, "If it wasn't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college." which he says enveloped him for days, trying to figure out what she meant, and with prolonged exposure, would lead to a brain aneurysm.


Here is a hint about punctuation. Even within such a small comment that contains two words, there can be quite a discrepancy. "Well written." means that you thought it was crafted excellently and the point was made quite clear. However, "Well, written." means that you cannot deny that there were words placed onto a page or a website, mostly likely by its creator. Doesn't really say much about the quality, and is probably more sarcastic than anything else.

Went to see Rifftrax Live : Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny at the movie theater and I cannot recommend it enough. I've been to every one of their events and it was a whole lot of fun. You can catch a replay if your movie theater shows Fathom events, and it will be replayed on December 15th at 8 PM EST. They'll also be re-releasing their previously shown events "The Room" and "Starship Troopers" in January. For those that don't know, it is quite a few members from Mystery Science Theater 3000 that now doing the same thing under the Rifftrax banner. Catch them at

Our Christmas tree is now up! Wooo! Still trying to find the "Mr. Hanky, the Christmas Poo" ornament. I think the GF hid him so it wouldn't go up on the tree. We do have "Evil Monkey" from Family Guy up though so that helps a little. I can't complain too much, as between us, we've got a ton of Star Wars, Batman, Looney Tunes, and other pop culture ornaments. And on our Christmas Tree, Han Solo ALWAYS shoot Greedo first! Fuck you Lucas!

Yeah, so once again I wasn't able to use either real video of Weird Al doing "Gump" or "Word Crimes" but at least I found a good live version of the latter. 


  1. The, bench; returns! Although considering this is five years old, is this an origin story for the bench???

    Great caption!

    1. Honestly? I just think that there are SO many pictures of women on benches, it makes it easy to choose the one you want to use in a caption. I think I might have made around 1700 captions, and it wouldn't shock me if someone said, "You've made 25 captions with a girl on a bench".

  2. Rifftrax!!!!! A kindred spirit at last!!!! Mike, Bill and especially Kevin!!!!! I've been a huge fan since back in the day!!!! I also go to all the Rifftrax live events and I have never ever been disappointed!!!!
    Well Dee it seems we have more in common than all this nasty perversion!!!!
    Nice to know!!! Now I'm wondering how many of those guys in the theater are wearing something frilly and pink underneath....
    Oh yes the cap was fun too...I love the bench!!!!!


    1. I was a fan of MST3k going back to Season 2, and still have my ticket to see the movie which had quite the limited release. I had to go to Boston to see it at all! I have most of the episodes and all of the film shorts. I had a video tape with all the shorts on them and would play them at parties.

      I have all the film shorts that Rifftrax has done, and most of the VOD ones too. I wasn't big into the downloading MP3's and syncing them up but I have some of those too. I think I watch the Star Wars Holiday Special one at least once a month.

      I have also been to every live event they've done on simulcast, and the tickets line the mirror in our bedroom. Looking forward to see what the new MST will be like, especially since Patton Oswalt will be playing the Son of TV's Frank.

      My favorite person is probably Bill., Love the voice inflection and his humor is very much like mine.

      I've written quite a few captions with a MST style, including one based off of Bride of the Monster, an Ed Wood classic. I think that one is here on the blog, just use the search for "Bride Monster" and it should be inside a post along with one for Final Sacrifice ("ROWSDOWER!") the blog post itself is called, "Pop Culture Madness .. Inside the Mind of Dee .. Goodbye Earl & More! "

  3. Fun cap. This could be an idea for a new Tom Hanks movie, and then Rifftrax could make it really funny.