Is It Still Polite to Stare at Your Own Brand New Tits?

I don't think that Miss Manners covers that in her weekly column!

Making this a quick post since I am going to be (well, will have already seen when I post this) hitting the movie theater to see a live simulcast event with Rifftrax, making fun of Sharknado 2. As you can see in the below questions that I have answered in the latest edition of The Haven Reveal, I am a big fan of horrible cult movies so this should be a blast!

What got you into capping? 

I have been a huge fan of transformations since I was a child, watching magic shows on TV and wondering how cool it would be if it was real. 'Choose Your Own Adventure' books held the same allure, and I'd often 'lose' on purpose to be turned into a girl, or monster, or whatever.  My first TG fantasies involved being turned into Cyndi Lauper, or a reasonable facsimile of her as a teenybopper. I've been reading TG stories since the Carnegie Mellon FTP site was up and running, through TSA email boards, Fictionmania, etc .. When I discovered captions, I was excited because I have an extremely short attention span. I can be very creative, but only in short bursts, and captions play to my strengths. Trust me, people like Courtney and Rachel have been bugging me for years to write longer fiction pieces, and I can usually whip up 3-4 pages and that's it. 

What are some interesting things that people might not know about you? That if you saw them in a cap would draw you in more. Such as and like are you into hotrods, collecting small puppies and so on? 

I think most people know I've been a musician/singer, but I used to be recognized well enough locally that I would have people come up to me occasionally at a Taco Bell or something and say, 'Aren't you in that band, Dementia and the Skullfuckers from Hell?' I love the whole look of the 1980s video vixens with the hairspray, miniskirts, heels and hose, and HATED when grunge fashion took hold. I love wordplay, clever plot devices to invoke change, and tight writing. Oh yeah, I love cult movies and bad movies, and have seen "The Room" over 70 times (Oh Hai Mark!) I used to perform occasionally with the local cast of Rocky Horror Picture Show. 

What tips or words of wisdom would you tell those new to capping? 

What can't I say? I am always available if people wish to ask questions. My blog pretty much covers much of the process behind the captions I make, and why I made them that way, so they should also check that out, along with some of the writing clinic stuff I did a long time ago in the Shop Talk section. My biggest recommendation would be to try to not put TOO MUCH into a caption. I've seen newbies write one caption that has 400 words and had enough scenarios for me to create 5 different captions. Focus on one element and flesh that out with an economy of words. It will help stop you from "hitting the wall" within 10 to 15 captions. 

What do you see first in a cap? Layout, text, story or the amount of flesh shown? 

I could give a rat's ass how much or little flesh is shown. What I see first is the layout. I am not a fan of black text on a white background. Sorry if I am going to offend anyone, but it is 2015 and MS Paint hasn't been supported in 10-12 years. Take a few hours and watch tutorials on Youtube or here on the Haven for creating work in Paint.Net, GIMP, or even Powerpoint if you have to, since your writing will have to be even better to overcome the generic look and feel you'll have with black text on white background. 

After that, captions that I enjoy the most are a perfect blend of picture and story, where each enhances and drives the other. You can read the story and say, 'That is EXACTLY what is happening in the photo! They nailed it!' 

You have just celebrated your 666th birthday *cough* for the umpteenth time *cough*,  how does it feel? 

As and inverse to the 'Dazed and Confused' quote, 'That's what I love about girls, they get older, and I stay the same age!' Besides, age is just a number, and I don't feel a day over 400!

The caption above was made this afternoon for Ian, who happened to be the right number commenter, so BINGO, he gets a caption. Pretty standard, but was fun to make. I think the moral of the story is, "comment often and Dee will probably make a caption for you at some point!" FEED MY EGO, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!

PS. As offered at the Haven, if you have any questions, fire away in the comment section and I'll do my best to answer them as truthfully and candid as possible!