Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Ask Mistress Dementia .. from The Haven Quarterly!

It doesn't hurt to Ask the Mistress ... does it?

There have been 4 official issues of The Haven Quarterly released, and a fifth one has been in limbo for many months now.  I really do hope it comes out but there have been many more pressing issues there, like losing a big chunk of our caption database and finding out that the server wasn't backing up our information after being told it was part of the deal! AARRGHH!

Anyway, one of the segments that I worked on, along with Simone and possibly Steffie and Lady Victoria was an advice column called "Ask a Mistress" which was pretty much what you think it would be. Most questions were written by Steffie and Jennifer and were lots of fun to answer.
Hello Ma'am. I'm a cashier at a local supermarket and have been for a few years. Recently there's been a girl that comes in and buys a new pair of panties, pantyhose, bra, lipstick, skirt, and well... you get the picture. Every week, she has me ring up something new and femme. I sack it up and send her on her way. At first I didn't think anything about it, besides the fact I wish she was buying them for me! (who doesn't?) But here's the thing, I think SHE IS! She's been looking at me kinda funny the last few times and I'm getting a little paranoid. She has made a few off color remarks lately that, while very very exciting at just the thought of it, are also wracking my nerves! Thinking back on it, she's been looking at me funny from day one, I thought it was just some playful flirting or perhaps she thought I was handsome. But now I think she's been sizing me up this whole time! Last week she even said the hot pink lipstick she was buying would really bring out the color in my eyes! If she really is planing on making me over into her lesbian girlfriend, my question is this. What should I do to prepare myself for this and how do I get over my own nervousness? I realize this is a dream come true for many gurls out there, and I'm not one to look a gift horse in the mouth!
Here is my reply to the question. Trust me, it looks SO much better set into a page format with a great picture on the side of it!
Dear Tempted, first off, who said she wanted you as a lesbian girlfriend? Don't you think you are being a bit presumptuous that this Goddess is interested in you sexually? Maybe she is looking for a sissyboi to teach the finer points of cock-teasing, to bestow the gifts of femininity to someone that would never measure up as a real man, or perhaps just needs her credenza dusted by an obedient and well trained maid..

From the sounds of your letter, I think you are already presenting yourself as a submissive little slut, and this Goddess caught your desperate scent to be dominated, and has taken pity on you. This is your lucky day AND your worst nightmare sweetie! I am guessing that her latest conquest is almost ready to be set free and she already has her hook in you, and you'll be dangling for her amusement soon enough. I bet the wait is killing you, right? THAT is the whole point, SISSY!

Now listen up and take my advice. I don't want you playing with your little boi-clitty while I try to help you. Actually, maybe you should. I see a chastity belt in your near future. I mean, the last thing you'll want to do is have to orally clean your silky panties three times a day from the small amounts of man-chowder you produce from being turned on 24/7 .. or do you?

Anyway, I am sure that you want to push the issue, but you do not have a say in the matter. The next time she comes in, you should just listen to what she has to say, and obey subserviently, no matter how embarrassing it might be for you. Your co-workers will see the results soon enough, sweetie! A "Yes Mistress" and a curtsy is an absolute must from now on whenever she arrives in your queue. And if this is who I think it is, you BETTER make sure your hands and nails are cleaner, or I will be bringing up some white lace gloves into your line for you next time, with anklet socks to match!


I do have a way with words sometimes, don't I? That was the first of three "Ask a Mistress" columns that I did, and they got much more subversive and anachronistic. Pretty hard to describe until you actually read them but they are some of my most "short of a full deck" pieces I've ever written.

DISCUSSION QUESTION:  What did you think of what I'd written above?


  1. I enjoyed reading this just about as much as I did when it was first published. The tone is perfect and actually seems like the setup of a great story.

    I'm as anxious as the next person to see the new issue of the Quarterly, but with everything that's been going on at the Haven it's understandable that it's taking awhile.

    1. I originally had more information about the next issue and what was in it and got my admin shoes stepped on by Rachel for giving out too much information!

  2. loved the advice column . I should check the haven out I read a lot about it but not sure I have the time to contribute as is the sprit of the site.
    like the lords of acid vid well have to check them out some more.

    1. Havenettes who visit regularly, but never comment. But when you do, it can be rewarding, even overwhelming. And you already know a few Havenettes, so you're don't arrive as a stranger.

      Dee, Love the advice column as well.

  3. Glad everyone that read it liked it!