Well, I was working on a caption for Cailtyn last night, something that was both sweet and somewhat humiliating, but ultimately, a self-realization and discovery of her true self. The idea really hit when I saw the picture. Please look at the 2nd caption first before reading, as I don't want to give away plot points until you've seen the caption at full size.
I had a story of a party, where Calvin was trying to prove that we all wear masks, so that wearing one would expose the true nature of someone. The gist was that Calvin was so sure of his theory, he was over-confident that things would fall into place. Dee was pretty much along for the ride after prodding Calvin to prove his theory.
After the set-up (adding make-up to help hide Calvin's appearance in case there were people that knew him at the party) the first step in the plot kicks in where both Dee and Calvin recognize that, at least for Calvin, his theory is probably more true than he could ever have imagined. Then he wanders off on his own, probably as his "true persona" guides him through the party, with Calvin just along for the ride.
As time passes, Dee wants to head home, and tries hard to find Calvin. Upon finding him, she finds him overwhelmed with all that he's been through, and definitely not "Calvin" as that true self had never been released until the mask was worn. Sensing that, Dee awakens the alternate persona, Caitlyn, which according to Calvin is actually his true self.
The problem is that some of the things I wanted to highlight would not fit into the caption, or weren't clear by the way I had designed it. Below is the 1st draft, which confused Jennifer when I asked her to interpret it with fresh eyes.
Of the feelings I wanted to convey, but am not sure if I did, was that Dee didn't really fulfill what Calvin had said. She didn't feel that different in her mask, at least until she came upon Calvin. In the initial caption, it ended upon the discovery of Calvin's true self. While a great place to end emotionally, it didn't really validate Calvin's point. If Dee was exactly the same as before, the whole "We All Wear Masks" statement isn't true.
There also wasn't much description of how he felt after being masked. The way this was designed, with only one picture to work with, meant that there HAD to be an economy of words. I shrank down the size of the font to something that gave me an extra 10-15 words above and below the picture. From that, I was able to throw in a sentence detailing how he felt with all eyes upon him, and below to flesh out the meeting in the bedroom slightly.
I was also able to make me sound somewhat less boring, that I had partied a bit but was ready to head home. As seen in the finished caption below, I also was able to make the case that me waking up Caitlyn was an epiphany for both Calvin AND Dee. For Calvin, it was the realization that Caitlyn was a huge part of her. For Dee, it was that she LIKED seeing Calvin like that, and wanted to ensure that it would happen again. Just using the word MISTRESS in that context adjusts the balance of power between them. Dee's true persona as a dominant woman happened, just as Calvin had predicted.
This happens to be one of those rare captions I made that easily could have been 3-4 panels if I had the photo source material to do so. The constraints of a single panel made me economical with phrasings but didn't hurt it too much overall, at least to my understanding. Others may disagree. The one thing I am really cheesed about is using the word "truly" tn two sentences in a row at the end! URRGGHHH!!
DISCUSSION QUESTION: Did I manage to convey everything in the caption as I had described it? I left some of the story vague, but did foreshadow the sexual nature of the events. There maybe a few things I shaded that I forgot to mention here as well. Was the first caption too vague, and was the second a huge improvement over the first? Did the final version of the caption succeed?