Perhaps maybe it's best that your significant other has no access to some of your hidden desires!
You never know exactly how someone else is going to take it when you present your fantasies to them. Like, "You want domination? I think I can do that! On your knees, slave! Oh, YOU wanted to be the one in control? Hmmm, that doesn't work for me .. Sweetie Pie!" That is what I was going for here in this caption.
And you do hear real life stories about how discussions can arise, and spouses definitely end up getting into the kink, perhaps even more enthusiastically than either one thought could happen. They learn to embrace and thrive in that new arrangement. I've always wondered where exactly the boundaries would be set. Is hubby cool with having a 3-some with his wife and another woman, but doesn't ever want another man there and the 3rd man in? Does the power dynamics change back to "normal" once they leave the bedroom or the house .. or is it a 24/7 thing? Is it only in sexual situations, or does it creep into everyday life?
These things always fascinate me. I was usually always the decision maker with my forever person .. but if I had taken a submissive role once or twice with her .. would she view me differently afterwards, even if it was subconscious? Still makes me ponder it now, as I've been dating steadily since she has passed.
So what say you? In what ways have you seen these sorts of dynamics play out in your life? Do things usually just fall into place, or does it creep in as the relationship matures? How would things shift over time? Are there issues later on trying to put the toothpaste back into the squeeze bottle? Let's talk about this in the comments!
I have been putting a little bit of work and effort into the Rachel's Haven Discord Channel, figuring that it will help me when it's time for me to start up a Deelusions of Grandeur spot. I am hoping to have something up and running before September, but I think that is a good time to shoot for a "grand opening" so to speak. This is all tentative of course. Let me know if you have any ideas for features / sections you'd like to see there.
Also, I'll still take plots or story ideas that involve Beauty Parlors / Hair Salons / Nail Boutiques and such. I've got 2 or 3 given by my followers so far, and I think I might post them each Sunday in August, or I'll do a week of them starting that month.
My God, was Randy Rhoads an incredible guitarist, who was taken from us WAY too soon. I've heard that Eddie Van Halen and he had sort of a feud. Back in the mid 70's, Eddie would play with his back to the crowd, so they couldn't see how he was making the guitar sound like he did. Randy was like, "fuck that!" and let everyone see what HE was doing. I guess back then, in the early 80's, Eddie thought that only Randy was a challenger to his guitar throne. It's a shame that we never got to hear Randy as he grew as a guitarist.
Randy would play until his fingers bled. He was incredible! Eddie was great too. I had tickets to see Ozzy in 1981 but Randy died and the tour was canceled before I had a chance to see him play. I did finally see Ozzy with Jake E. Lee, who could wield the axe with the best of them. Had a chance to see The Who but had to pass it up and then Entwistle died. Saw Pink Floyd in 1994 and they were incredible! My ultimate concert would have to be Zepplin but that will never be. I could say that life is unfair but then I grew up with the greatest music ever created and I have all of their vinyl that I can listen to whenever I want.
ReplyDeleteJake E Lee's debut was at the US Festival in 1983, and wow, he was great there! I think he was getting screwed by Sharon (not a big shock!) which is why he ended up leaving. I've seen Ozzy with Zakk ummm, 4 times. Each time, Zakk got better and Ozzy got worse.
DeleteI never got to see The Who, Floyd or Zeppelin (did see Robert Plant live on one of the first tours he did where he would do Zep songs, so hearing "Wearing and Tearing" live was a blast!) So the most classic rock band I saw was Aerosmith, whom I've seen a half dozen times or so (living in New England, you get lots of chances to see them live) and I try to catch Iron Maiden whenever I can.
I did see Ozzy with Jake E. Lee in 1983 (Charleston WVA). O guy I went to college with worked as a Janitor at a R & R station and snagged me a ticket. His girlfriend went to college in VA and I used to give him a ride and drop him off on my way home between quarters. I don't know why but I always had a friend that worked at a R & R station and got free tickets all the time! I also worked security for the local civic center and usually worked stage right. I was working a Greatful Dead show once and the DEA tried to get backstage once and I held them up and went backstage and told the manager "I got 2 DEA guys that want to come back here and if there is anything that shouldn't be back here, you have 5 minutes to make it disappear! I like the Dead but my friend was a major Dad Head and so when the manager asked me if I wanted something, I asked for some drumsticks which I gave to my friend. He almost pissed himself when I gave them to him. I actually took Steppenwolf Live to my 2nd grade music appreciation class and had hair down the middle of my back! They left me alone and my grades were always top of my class. Then my Dad made me get my hair cut and it all went to hell. Long Live Rock!
DeleteGood thinking cap that really works with your discussion topic.
ReplyDeleteI think power dynamics are as varied as people themselves. Some are able to turn that on and off so that 'he' can be the more dominant one outside of the bedroom while he is forced into his SO's panties and stockings in the bedroom. Others can't handle that change and are as they are. Any attempt to change them in one locale, would change them everywhere.
I believe that so long as two people are on roughly the same wavelength (both can change, neither change, both are happy as is...) that it will work out. It's when they aren't on the same page that it can be disastrous. He wants to submit in the bedroom but stay in power outside, but once she gets power in the bedroom she tries to exude that same confidence outside... that's a recipe for disaster.
I really started to think about it back when Sissy Leeanne was posting about her life's journey, which I think ended up becoming a fictionalized story to some extent. At least I hope it was .. otherwise it got WAY out of hand.
DeleteBut if you had followed it, I wasn't sure how she could have had ANY hand in the relationship at all. There's a difference between being a sissy or a sub, or both, and "being taken advantage of / abuse".
From then on, I would very much try to figure out dynamics of real life relationships from what others wanted in their fantasies .. which in my mind, are two different things completely. It's hard enough to have a good relationship without complicating it even more with sexual politics.
For instance, my forever person enjoyed reading "bodice rippers" but I can't imagine she even wanted to be kidnapped and r@ped by a pirate. I've had fantasies where I've turned people into bimbos, animals, degraded women's appearances, etc .. I would never do those things in real life, nor would I probably even act them out in role play either.
Hmm, ended up writing a good amount of response, so great comment!
And wait... while considering a 'Deescord' server (seewhatididthere?) I hear that there's a Rachel's Haven server? You mean I could have an easy way to stay in contact with that community? How do I get that golden ticket invite?
ReplyDeleteI will send you an invite through the Haven's DM .. be on the lookout for it!
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