My first caption created on my brand spanky new computer! But it won't be my last, I promise!
Sooooo, I have the new computer running .. and I have a TON of things left to do to customize it the way I'd like, but at least my basic needs are being met with it at the moment until I can trick it out exactly how I want it to be. New computers don't have DVD drives anymore, so I also purchased an external one so that I can put Office 2003 on it, as well as some DVD rippers and tons of media files.
Of course, one of the first things I put on this computer is a "portable" version of Ph0t0sh0p, so I could make captions as soon as I could. Along with that, I've really narrowed down the source image directories as well. My old computer had photos going way back to 2004 or so; and unless I'm doing a retro caption, the pictures aren't good enough quality to justify using them in 2021-2022 moving forward. For most of the most popular categories of each directory, I just went back to 2015 or so, and moved everything newer than that up to the present from the old SATA internal drive onto an external drive.
Which leads me to this caption .. You knew I'd get to that at some point, right? The image was one of the last pictures I had downloaded onto the old computer, so I thought it would be fitting to use it for the first caption on the new computer. Nothing too involved, but something simple that would show 'proof of concept' that my system was set up properly and also give me a chance to set up some basic preferences in Ph0t0sh0p.
And for those who aren't single, there are 3 dating apps referenced in the title of this caption. My thought process went that while buying a hot dog (he still has his male taste-buds for now!) he made a realization that a foot long wiener was MUCH larger than he thought, especially when flaccid and in a bun! So from there, I just figured .. maybe we can call out some of the lies that guys tell in their dating profile. Compare and contrast the lies to the truth .. to his new truth. And I do think it works here, even though it's a very short caption.
And why is he now a female? Damned if I know! Guessing maybe some witch went out on a date with him under false pretenses and wanted him to feel disappointment from the female side of things? Maybe one of the dating apps (Dates R Us ?!?) wants to have more actual women looking for dates instead of bots .. so if you don't have a real match in a month, it changes a guy into a girl so there's a bigger pool of women on the app? Perhaps you should tell me in the comments if either of those are logical, or even better, you come up with your own!
I wonder if the transformation was free or part of their Premium plan...
ReplyDeleteI would think that being a woman on a dating site might be a better way to succeed, but then again, I know some women that have tried them all, and are very discouraged by the ordeal.
DeleteI'm guessing it's the platinum (blond) plan. The devil is in the details!
I like both those explanations but I like the second one better. It's more innovative. Another possibility could be related to gene therapy. Jessica could be a genetically modified organism. If the female in a group of clownfish dies or otherwise disappears, the biggest, bossiest male becomes a female. An immature eel will likely mature as male in a situation of high eel-population density but as a female in a situation of low eel-population density. (I. e., if there aren't many eels around, the immature ones will mature as females.) So, if Jeffrey got clownfish or eel genes spliced onto his genome to give him some special ability, the therapy/enhancement may also have introduced a feminization gene that gets triggered at some future point in Jeffrey's life.
ReplyDeletefj
very detailed and believable situation. Not sure how a online dating service could be involved in genetic cloning, but Facebook, sorry META!, seems to be in on everything else, so why not that digital crossover?!?
DeleteI must be on the wrong dating app! Zoe
ReplyDeleteYou haven't tried Dates R' Us? Not sure I should do my own advertising, but 'Dee-Coupled' has shown promise in beta testing. By that, I mean every beta male has become a sub female. Can't wait for the IPO to arrive!
DeleteGlad the new computer is working as planned. And yes, I miss a DVDRW drive on my work computer - one of my many goals is to resurrect the desktop at home when I have time and funds.
ReplyDeleteAlso, is it wrong that I can't find the third dating app? Match was where I met Tilly, POF I'm on now (and generally ignored by dint of... well, everything *gestures vaguely at self*). As to why it happened? I like the idea of magical AI - it worked out the feminine opposite of his lies and exaggerations and, when he ignored the warnings as spam mail, it executed the changes as a means of ridding the apps of his presence - and, so far as the AI is concerned, everything is a huge success. Jessica is no longer on the apps and thus no longer exaggerating. AIs are efficient like that in the digital plane.
Kinda wish I could meet such an AI. Mind you, I've told people a million times, I'm no good at exaggeration.
I've heard of Hinge, but don't know anyone that has used it. It worked best in coming up with a title for the caption, as it made a little sentence that sort of made sense.
DeleteI had to pop for an external DVD burner. What's another 30 bucks when you are dropping 1800 on the desktop itself!
I love the caption. I think the detail is clearer in the rendering of the image so your new computer was definitely worth it.
ReplyDeleteIt's good to know that my look, design, and feel won't be affected too much! I like to think that most people can tell a caption from me before they even read it, then once they do, confirm that initial guess that it's one of mine.
Delete(OK, I am a little late with this one)
ReplyDeleteWell, Magic MAGIC MAGIC!!!!! was very solicitous of their customers. Three was their lucky number (they were the three witches from MacBeth - who knew Eye of Newt was such an age defying superfood?) and hearing three lies... well, some adjustments had to be made to fulfill the claims.
6 feet? Well, Jessica was about 6'1"... in heels. Some men like the long, tall girls. Adjustment made
Full head of hair? Well, Jessica had long blonde hair down her back. Adjustment made
Footlong? Well, Jessica's date tonight was a premium client who ... was allowed to have temporary ... enhancements? And long is a period of time as well... Jessica will have to make adjustments....
Glad you still commented, even though it was "a little late".
DeleteThis blog is open 24/7, sweetie! Comment on your own time. I'm not awake that whole time, but will see it eventually!
And yes, the rule of three is not only a comedy/drama thing, but also has it's place in the Wiccan world too, so it does make good sense.