Wednesday, September 21, 2016

The Naked Waitress Learns a Lesson In Context!

Knowing lots of old dirty jokes makes captioning a much easier job sometimes!

As soon as I saw this picture, the joke you probably first heard at the barbershop when you were 12 came ringing into my mind. I just HAD to go with it and make it straight away. Since I continually owe Wendygirl captions, I knew I could write this one for her since she only wants to be a lesbian in captions made for her.  Full disclosure: I cut out another woman that was to the left of the waitress.

Wendy really did like it, and revealed something I didn't know at the time. "Lovely fun caption Dee, but seriously I have this fantasy where I am a girly waitress in a restaurant but I am not allowed any clothes. Everyone else is dressed but I am naked. Such insight, or is it ESP?"

While that might be really cool to be some sort of Frieda Kreuger hopping into people's kinky fantasies and dreams .. I had no foreknowledge of her innate desires.

What more could I possibly post tonight? How about the original joke I used to make this caption?
This biker goes into a diner and orders the beef stew. After receiving his order he calls the waitress to his table. He says, "Look at this, there's a hair in my soup, I'm not paying for this." And he gets up and walks out.  
The waitress, a little suspicious of his behavior follows him and watches him enter a brothel. She creeps in and opens the door and sees him face full between a prostitutes legs. She bursts into the room and exclaims, "You complained about one little hair in your soup, and look at you now." The biker looks up and says, "I'll tell ya what, if I find a noodle in here, I'm not paying for this either."
Yeah, the caption makes this joke MUCH more palatable. Get it? Palatable? Bwahahahaha!

Give me all the love and attention I should have had when I was as child down below in the comment section. Also, I mentioned in the last captions' comments .. list your male / female name in the comments here or in that one .. and I'll save them so that if I need a victim in a caption I'm not making for the Haven, there'll be a decent shot that YOU'LL be the star of it!


  1. Bimbo. Waiter there is a fly in my soup.
    Waiter. (Grin) Well unzip it you did order cockaleekie.

  2. Oh dear, bad jokes. I may have to file these for future usage in the right circles.

    And, Ian: that is an awful pun. I'm filing that one too.

    Did you hear the one about Pierre the French Pilot and the Lady of the Night?

    I suspect you know my names both male and female...


    1. Sorry Joanna I know its very bad.
      no i have not heard the one about Pierre and the lady of the night.

  3. Waitress there's a hair in my soup!!!
    Well now you've done it!!!
    What do you mean???
    Well now everyone's going to want one!!!

    Love bad jokes, bad movies, bad boys and bad girls,,,,not necessarily in that order!!!


  4. I'm going to make a small .txt file with people's male and female names so in case I make something I think they might like, I can plug them in there if need be!

    So keep them coming!

    1. It was nothing to exotic for me. Jayne