Anyway, as to the posted caption, I posted this mostly because I was looking through stats and noticed that people are actually looking at this blog through the Nintendo Wii and Playstation 3 among other things. There are so many more options to surf the web now, and since I'm not a fan of Apple, I just HAD to post this caption I made for Lyndee awhile back. "It is so easy, even a bimbo can use it!" should be their new sales pitch!
DISCUSSION QUESTION: We are going to have an open discussion here. Any questions you'd like to ask me pertaining to captions I've made or just random thoughts? Post away!
Hey! I use a Mac and I'm a ... well I guess I am kind of a bimbo ;)
ReplyDeleteHope you get over your illness soon Dee and you get back to being your normal Dee-licious, Dee-lightful, Dee-viant self.
Happy New Year!
Hey Dee,
ReplyDeleteSince you opened this up as an open discussion, there is something that has been rolling around in my head for awhile now. How separate are your personas?
I think the best way to describe what I mean is to tell how I see Caitlyn/Calvin and see if that lines up with some people.
My name in real life isn't Caitlyn. In all honesty my real life name isn't Calvin either, although Calvin IS my middle name. While it isn't my real name, Calvin does represent me as I see myself. He is as close to me as you can get online.
Caitlyn isn't me, but she is a part of me. Before I came to the Haven, she was always there, but she wasn't well defined, or even named. She was just the feminine part of me. When I got to the Haven I used a variation of Calvin (calv) as my username. But the longer I spent time there making caps and joining in games, the more Caitlyn became defined. While Caitlyn is still a part of me, she has really started to take a path of her own. And oddly enough (at least to me), Caitlyn isn't a woman. I see Caitlyn as a very androgynous man that enjoys the idea of cross dressing, and feminization. She enjoys the thoughts of being humiliated, and longs to experience it.
Defining what Caitlyn is and is not, helped me further define myself. I am not all that interested in personally cross dressing. I do not want to be a woman, so the thought of being forcibly feminized is a turn off. Now obviously there is a part of me that does like these things, and even desires them, as Caitlyn is a part of me. But when I cap, I am distinctly working from Caitlyn's perspective. I feel differently and even think differently.
Over the past years I have read and viewed plenty of TG material. I enjoyed it, but was also somewhat embarrassed by it. I don't know if I would go as far as saying I was ashamed of it, but it was definitely outside of my comfort zone. Since the time that I changed my name on the Haven to 'Caitlyn Masked' that has changed. When I view TG material now, it isn't me that is watching and enjoying it.... its Caitlyn. It is the same feelings and thoughts that I have while I cap. And now I no longer have that embarrassed feeling.
Like I said, this has been percolating around my head for awhile. I guess it started when I began IMing some people from the Haven on a regular basis. I realized that when I talked to them, it would sometimes be as Caitlyn, but most of the time I chatted with them as me. I would even refer to stuff as 'That cap that Caitlyn made' or 'Caitlyn's blog'.
So while Caitlyn will forever be a part of me, she is getting her own voice. A voice that is separate from mine. And before anyone gets concerned, I don't believe this is any type of personality disorder (although I am not a trained psychologist or psychotherapist, so I really wouldn't know). I am fully aware of Caitlyn, and accept that Caitlyn is a part of me. The same is true when I am Caitlyn... she is aware of me, and accepts that she is only a part of me.
Do other people feel this way? Is Dee separate from Damien, or are you truly Dee?
@ Caitlyn
ReplyDeleteI might make this the next discussion I post. I have a concrete thought about it, but probably don't have time right now to give it the space it needs here in the comments. Hopefully I can post about this in the next few days!
bimbos and macs, what more could any girl want
ReplyDeleteDon't worry Petra. Macs are designed so that people don't have to think much about what they are doing with a computer. ;) So technically I should have one too as a bimbo ;)
ReplyDeleteAnyway, the real bimbos are those who buy an iPad ... I used that thing from a friend, (who always needs the latest stuff but doesn't even know a little about computers and what to do with it (nor did he recognize that he just holds a larger iphone in his hands)) for a week last year .... it's the most useless thing I've ever seen. When this fashion is over nobody will use it anymore. I'm glad I save a lot money by not buying apple stuff. :)
And when people really visit sited like that from a game console ... hm, they have other problems. :D
Anyway, good for your blog.