Valentine's Day Hint .. Let HER Buy the Lingerie .. Not You!

Let this be a lesson to all of you younger people in relationships .. unless you want this to happen!

And even if you DO want this to happen, talk to your significant other, otherwise you'll be sleeping on the couch in the lingerie you bought.

I didn't have anything in mind when I decided to write a Valentine's Day caption, so I went and answered the comments for the last post, which was the Return of the Bench (Adjacent) one, and reread what I had written. I took Milo's suggestion of lingerie at least, and went hunting for a picture that could work. I found this one, which had the elements of a traditional type of "romantic night" image, though I do think it's more of a man's idea of what women want on Valentine's Day than what they necessarily want.

Side note, I wrote this without really having an ending, all the way to the last paragraph. I knew I wanted to have the wife either grow a penis or become a man for the night, but didn't know how to get that into the story AND wrap it up in a tight little bow. And then I thought back to what I had said about whether I was going to make a Valentine's Day caption OR a President's Day caption. There's my ZINGER .. tie them both together with a mattress sale quip!

As I said in the teaser .. do NOT go out and buy lingerie for your lady without her implicit permission. It's not going to go well! The way to do it is, bring her with you and suggest that you'll buy her some lingerie. Let her wander around and ponder what she'll want to wear, and make some suggestions if asked. She is going to want to feel sexy and comfortable .. if that happens, trust me .. you'll love it on her, unless you have an aversion to a certain color. She'll want to turn you on too, so most women are flexible if you say something gently. Maybe they have it in red as well as the green one you don't like.

If she doesn't like the lingerie .. she isn't going to wear it. You'll have spent money on something that will end up in the back of the closet, or packed up in the attic, and perhaps it'll disappear someday, never to be thought of again.

Also, if she already has lingerie when you've started dating, do NOT ask her when and where she got it. Perhaps she bought it to wear for a guy she knew before you, BUT she is using it to seduce you because she knows she is absolute FIRE in it, and you'll reap the benefits when she just melts into you. But you don't want to think about guys she was with before you arrived, especially when you two are having the sexay times, do you? Just don't question it, and then you can take her out and use my previous advice.

Since this blog probably has a good variance of age groups here .. please feel free to leave other great love advice in the comments below. What I've offered above is things I'd have liked to have learned when I was in my late teens - early 20's. I think one of my worst mistakes was a girlfriend wearing a yellow negligee and asking me what I thought, and I said, "You look like a banana." and when she pouted, I relied, "Don't worry about it. We're going to have sex anyway, so you won't be wearing it much longer." .. long story short, we didn't have sex that night!

CAPTION CLARIFICATION: The spell was cast on the bed, so that if he put rose petals on the bed and left lingerie for her to wear, it'd kick in and he'd wear the lingerie and become a woman that fit into it.

See you next Tuesday!