Friday, January 4, 2019

Sorry, I Can't Be Perfect


I NEVER want to hear these words from my child. I HOPE you never had to say them to your Dad.


Yeah, it's time for one of THOSE posts. I know a few people on here that have great lives being who they are, and the further into this subset of the world, the less there usually are. Unfortunately, this caption is much more the norm than an outlier. Usually, the best you can hope for is indifference .. or maybe a "that's fine. I just don't want to see it or be reminded of it." But something comes up and you hear, "I just thought it was a phase" or "I figured it was just some sort of kink you'd get sick of!"

Many times, the holidays are where many of us suck it up and put on our normal masks and pretend we are who people think we are. Finally the New Year comes along, and we can put that behind and be who we actually are, free from the judgmental eyes that gaze upon us. "Can Auntie tell that I thinned out my eyebrows?"

And it is even worse for those who cannot make it as their designated gender and MUST find a path to where they are at least somewhat comfortable in how they present themselves .. and don't get the support they need from those they need it the most.

I hope beyond hope that they all get that help they need, and the affirmations that they aren't broken. Now is the time when we think about financial planning for the year. Perhaps a few dollars donated to a local shelter for LGBTQ+ youth could be considered. This is the time of year they need it the most.

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I planned on writing about my tough December, but I don't think it really should be up publicly on the Internet, even if only for the weekend like I had planned it to be. So, if you want to know, message me, and I'll let you know what happened. I saved what I wrote on Wednesday to Microsoft Word, so I can just include it in my reply. That way, people that I've become friendly with here can know WHY it was not exactly a walk through the park at the end of the year, and not have it out for anyone who stumbles by this blot once or twice, plus there are Internet archives that keep different versions of websites available to people, so I can keep info not meant for the entire world, as safe as I can.

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All this came out of searching for the video for the Simple Plan video I posted on Wed night. I saw this video and I immediately started typing out the blog post for this one too.


I'll be around this weekend I think, especially since it is the first week of the NFL playoffs. Patriots aren't playing so I can miss a game if I want to. Maybe I'll do some shopping before hand and have some of the games on in the background and do some captioning. It'd be nice to have a few more "in my pocket" so I can pick and choose which posts come next.

Feel free to comment on the above caption, and message me if you do wish to know what happened over the holidays. I should be back on Sunday night with a new posting, so see you then!

4 comments:

  1. I am so sorry for your pain. I feel similar. You're not alone. Reach out to me on twitter if you'd like. brook3bt@gmail.com

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    1. Thank you Brooke. Sorry that you have had issues like this. One of my real life closest friends went through much of what I had posted about up above. My daughter's best friend is gay and also went dealt with very un-supportive parents. He's actually celebrated Christmas with us a few times.

      Luckily, the December I had wasn't fraught with any TG issues, though one of the things that happened is a trauma that can affect people in the LBGTQ+ community.

      I hope that you are dealing with the conflicts in your life and have risen, or will soon, rise above them.

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  2. Family relationships can be hard...sometimes brutal...I don't know what happened to you in December....if you'd like to tell me you know my e-mail addy....
    When I was young my older brother died of leukemia....my father, a nasty abusive alcoholic, looked me right in the eyes and said "Why couldn't it have been you!!!"
    That haunted me for years and led to a myriad of bad things through my late teens and early twenties....but now I'm happy.....I decided that I just honestly didn't give a damn about what he thought of me and I wasn't going to let him ruin my life....
    Nobody's perfect Sweetie, we can aim for it but I'd rather direct my ambitions toward being happy!!!
    Kisses
    Kaaren

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    Replies
    1. Wow! I did not know that much about Kaaren, the early years, but unfortunately it falls within a pattern of most people I know in the TG spectrum. I am so glad you figured it out eventually. I am betting having a very supportive wife helped that come about, along with just gutting it out as best you can.

      I lucked out in that my Mom was fairly understanding, though I lost her when I was still in my late teens. I'd find a pair of fairly new pantyhose in her bedroom waste bin (I was responsible for trash) without runs .. which I now suspect was her leaving something for me to wear in privacy. She never really said anything to me, but I'm sure she figured out that her clothes would somehow be stretched out a bit now and again.

      I think the song does a great job of showing the pressure that living up to your parents expectations is hard enough, without the extra drama that identity issues present to family relations. And of course, I will always have a soft spot for Pop-Punk!

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