Sad News .. Part 2

I will be sort of around for the next couple days, before I have to attend the funeral of my long-term girlfriend of 2 years. This has gutted me like you wouldn't believe, as I had lost the light fo my life a little less than 6 years ago, right before Covid started.

This was supposed to be an incredible Valentine's Day long weekend, where we were also going to celebrate her getting hired for a new job, which was an opportunity for better hours (she was a nurse) with nights and weekends completely off, along with all holidays .. but she could still do per diem shifts for extra cash as needed. We had stepped up our relationship, and it was going sooooooo well. Scarily well, which always freaked me out .. but she was another person that I could have seen myself grow old with.

I knew that something was wrong that morning, as I she hadn't replied back to my morning text, which she usually did within 30 minutes, even with a client. A number of texts and phone calls followed, but no answer. I had hoped that either .. she was a ditz and left her phone at home (not likely but she .. was sort of a ditz due to some health issues) or had went to the hospital and was being stabilized but not responsive with the phone at that moment. The next morning .. I called again, and her son answered and told me the horrible news.

So I spent Valentine's Day with her ex-husband and one of her teenage kids, as I went to view the body. This is NOT the spookiness and goth nature that I enjoy at all. the one thing I am consoled with is that she seemed to have gone peacefully, which is something my forever person (I guess I'm going to have to get used to having TWO forever person's as I gave them the best that I could, and loved them until they drew their last breath, and then some!) had also went peacefully.

I like to think that the one that glowed brightly for 20 years with me .. prepared me, and made me a better man .. for the one I now will see interred this week. She was another "damaged" woman, but I loved her .. and she helped me heal as well. Now I'm back to a thousand shattered pieces.

As I wrote back in 2020:

Please hug the shit out of your significant other, best friends, family members, etc .. Tell them you love them and how much you'll miss them when they aren't around. That you are thinking about them/ Please do that so that I will make sure that everyone knows how much they are loved, even when it doesn't seem like it.

I am fucking devastated right now. Thank you all for your support in the past, and I am certainly going to need it going forward. Love you all!