I Will Follow You Into the Dark

If there's no one beside you, when your soul embarks. Then I'll follow you into the dark.

Just a hauntingly beautiful song. I knew that I probably wouldn't be up to posting a new caption for you this weekend. It's the anniversary of my forever person's death this weekend, and I figured I should post SOMETHING at least. So I give you this caption, with how I expect to meet her again someday.

I also wanted to highlight something here that touched me deeply. All the comments that I received that day when I announced what had happened, and all the loving support I've gathered from you all since that horrendous moment. It truly touched me then, and it still touches me now.

It's weird how just a few years can change your entire life, and those around you. Here's what the lovely Sis Kaaren had to say back on that day, along with her wonderful wife, Mrs. K.

I had insomnia tonight and couldn't sleep....so I thought I'd check out the blogs...then I read this horrible horrible news!!!!

I so wish I could reach through the screen and hug you and offer what comfort I can...please take care of yourself and come back when you feel ready...we'll all still be here waiting to take you into our arms!!!

You said once that I had a gift for words but in this case words fail me....I can't find a way to express my sorrow at this tragic time...

It's difficult to type while my eyes are blurred with tears!!!

So many of us love you Dee....I hope that gives you a little comfort in the coming days...

Hugs and Love, Kaaren

Here's someone that had never met me, nor talked to me over the phone .. and we have no idea what we look like, who are loved ones are .. and she felt enough sorrow to break down and cry. 

Dee...."Kaaren" woke me to tell me this awful news, I am so sorry for your loss. It's hard to believe in this dark time that news could get any darker. Although I have only recently become a semi-regular reader I have noticed your mentions of her in the conversational portions of your posts and I can see that the two of you shared something special.

"Kaaren" isn't religious but I am, and I'll be praying for you this morning. I'll be praying for you to be strong and for that strength to carry you through the difficult days ahead.

Our thoughts are with you at this time.

Love, Mrs. K.

Kaaren felt so much emotion that she woke up her wife, and they were able to share my grief though many miles away, and literally just a series of O's and 1's through the ether .. and we still had an emotional connection that was quite palpable.

Then about 7 months ago, this was posted to Kaaren's blogs:

 We were staying at my Boss's "Summer Place" up in the mountains and it was all so wonderful. "Kaaren" had quickly found his favorite spot and almost every afternoon, he could be found sitting out on the veranda, looking out over the property, all the way to the green mountains beyond.

"It's what Heaven would look like", he said  when he first saw it.

I usually sat with him but sometimes I had to logon and do something to earn my pay. I warned him not to stay in the sun for too long and came inside to do a little work via computer. Afterward I took a break and must have dozed off.

When I woke I called out for "Kaaren". He didn't answer.

I went out to the veranda, the sky was full of color, a beautiful sunset.

But my "Kaaren" was gone.

He had slipped away while I slept.

The Medical Examiner told me it was an aneurysm and there was nothing anyone could have done.

But it was my fault.

I should have been there. I should have been watching over him.

But I wasn't, and my Sweetheart left me, and neither of us got to say goodbye.

And I knew EXACTLY how she felt. I wish I didn't, and that she didn't ,, but I KNEW. I never got to say goodbye either. Though somehow, they both knew it wasn't goodbye .. it was "until we meet again." There's a weird synchronicity to this all, as I just went back to read what I commented to Mrs. K, and literally this is some of what I had written, "... And it's not your fault. I've run the same scenarios for me and my "forever person" through my mind so many times. I never got to say "goodbye" either but i know she knows .. and she'll be with me always. It's never a goodbye anyway, more like a, "until we meet again"."

Sorry if I've made your waterproof mascara run. I know you won't begrudge me moments like this. But if there is anything positive that can come out of this, please remember to tell your loved ones now how much you care about them, think about them when they aren't around, and that they mean the world to you. AND hug them like there will be no tomorrow, because you never know when there might not be a tomorrow left to share.

Love you all, Dee Mentia