Sunday, August 11, 2019

My 4th of July Posting .. about SIX weeks too late?

.. or maybe 45 weeks too early for next year? Come inside for the failed caption and the new one!

Yeah, please read the one that is "incomplete" first, that starts out, "C'mon in everyone!" Then you can read the new aka REAL one that starts out with "Steve Rogers was just .."

I had written out the first one back before the 4th, but just wasn't feeling it, and had a few paragraphs left for me to type out when I just gave up. Looking at what Cheeto Mussolini had designed for our parade was a "May Day" embarrassment of old cold war propaganda that only yahoos would enjoy. Yeah, who doesn't want to see tanks rolling down the middle of Washington, DC? WTF! And I need the deplorables to see the light, but there's no way I should give them a new life they don't deserve.

So, I gave up on the caption at the time. Today I was trying to figure out what caption to post tonight, and there's three available. But for some reason, I wanted to take a swipe at this one again .. whatever I came up with was what I was going to post, I decided, no matter how bad it was.

I thought first of a superhero .. and did a riff on Captain America .. so I came up with her name first, well the beginning of her name. Then I decided to come up with her back story of how she came to be, and I figured stilted words filled with pomp and circumstance, filled with bits and pieces of patriotic songs and hymns would be the way to go, and it reads about like I expected it to sound.

Then I had to get to her actual superpower. Other than the change of gender, she didn't look much different than your ordinary woman. Then when I looked at her mid-section, I was taken in for a moment, and yeah .. it's where the caption went a bit more ape-shit that it had before. I figured, it could be like Wonder Woman's lasso of truth .. and to be honest, I think it's the first time that anyone can justify a female superhero dressing up in a skimpy, clingy costume!

So yeah. Happy 4th of July in the middle of August! Let me know what you think about the real caption, though you can compare it to the first one if you so desire. I mostly posted it here so you could see why I didn't put it up here on the blog originally.

I kind of forget that many of my readers are from nations that aren't America! Hopefully this will still read well for you, and it's not like Steve Rogers is unknown in the Marvel Universe, right? I mean, I've never seen a Marvel Universe movie, but I know he's had a few movies set there!


  1. I'm not looking at your soft belly....I'm not.....I'm....
    I am your slave!!!!!
    It might surprise you that this is not the first time I've said this!!!!
    Happy early....or late Fourth of July to you too Dee!!!!

    1. Thanks! I was able to relax this past weekend so it does seem like the 4th of July. Too bad we are less than a month away from Labor Day!

  2. Glad you gave up on your first idea, as your second is wacky in a brilliant way.
    Only the name Mistress America doesn't seem to fit for this girl. I fail to see the Mistress part. I'm thinking more along the line of Trance American or American Sweetheart.
    Maybe she could team up with the Tick's American Maid, even if they are not in the same universe.

    1. Well, it's a bit of a mashup between Miss America (the beauty pageant winner) and America the Beautiful (a patriotic hymn, yes a religious hymn(!) that the caption steals some lines from) and of course Caption America because at some point, we've run out of superhero names!

      And if she's controlling bag guys by her hypnotic belly button, she's making naughty boys do her bidding .. so she's definitely a mistress!

  3. Oh my goodness, so much glorious cheese in that opening paragraph of the new caption! You had me grinning all the way through, with the talking bellybutton just icing on the cake. Good plan posting it late, so as to avoid the attention of the Deep State. Almost as clever as Mistress America!

    1. I can imagine some of the deplorables fapping to that cheese in the opening paragraphs. If Stephen Colbert old character ever wrote a porno, I'm guessing it would sound like that!

      And I'm looking at the picture again, and there is something odd about her navel, which is probably why I focused upon it. Like with her pose, it seems like it should be somewhere else. Just the thought of it like winking at people while commanding words came out made me audibly chuckle, which meant I just HAD to use it!