Sunday, May 22, 2016

Another Mundane Day at Hooters! *UPDATED*

Well, I wanted to make a caption for Sarine (Belladonna) and I had an extra picture or two! Why not?

*EDIT* Now corrected as per Ian's comment about "who is Jay?" Usually Sara's male name is Jay, but I wanted to switch up and changed it to Jeff. However, my brain didn't keep the continuity between the beginning and the end. The last voice speaking in the caption is Jeff's boss.

As per my intro, I had Sarine Davis on my mind. She is widely known on Fictionmania as Belladonna, and she is a mastermind of the plausible boss / secretary / workplace situations stories. She's written over a hundred, and they never seem to follow the same path. When we write captions, we have an easier time of avoiding the same old plot contrivances, mostly because they are really concise. I could take a full story, say of 8k words, and probably make 10 - 15 captions out of it. Just pick out a specific plot point, and viola, a slice of life caption for someone to enjoy.

We captioners still tend to repeat ourselves from time to time, either from a lack of remembering what we've done before, more more likely, because our trade partners really like a certain trope. We can still give it a fresh perspective and a new coat of paint, but deep down, it's still a variation of a theme. Interesting how close the word "trope" is to the word "tripe".

Anyhow, Sara keeps all those tropes fresh in long form stories and it is amazing how well she writes AS she is swerving to avoid pitfalls that others would fall into repeatedly. She is an inspiration for me, and why I always try to step up my game when making a caption for her.

And here, while I think it's a good idea, I don't think I quite followed through the way I wanted, and the reason why is, "I didn't have another image and I REALLY should have made a 2 or 3 panel caption out of my original story idea."

Everything is conveyed properly, but my how choppy it reads! I condensed all the preparations and his interactions with the other hooters girls into ONE paragraph, and it just doesn't flow. Unlike some other captions I'm not quite crazy about, I really don't know how I would fix this. I boiled everything down as best I could, and there is not really room to add anything, and removing another sentence or two might make it even worse.

Well, at least the old saying, "put a picture of a hooters girl into a TG caption and no one will notice that the story sucks!" I'm hoping that worn out cliché does work here! That or, "a fresh set of eyes will see things differently." and in a day or two I'll look at it again and think it is better than I originally thought it was.

Courtney Bartnett was on Saturday Night Live last night and was a fun listen. Seems like a cross between Joan Jett and Nirvana, even with them being a trio with a lead singer that also plays left-handed guitar. It probably isn't fair to compare at this point, but even the song's verse riff sounds like "Dive". Anyway, it is a catchy song and I love the line:
"Gimme all your money, and I'll make some origami, honey"


  1. I like the Courtney Bartnett track i shall check out some more.
    Its a great caption although it took three reads to get it all and still cant figure the last sentence Sara tell Jay he's fired. who's Jay? i think it could have worked better with a little extra room. Have you still got the Ian pack it all in Font?

    1. WHOOOPS! Jay is usually the male name for Sara, but this time I wanted to switch it up. However, my brain decided not to remember the continuity and VIOLA, extra confusion.

      I have no updated the caption and mentioned what happened in the body of the blog post. Thanks for letting me know you were confused Ian!

    2. Confused is is my default.
      i have just revisited the caption (well had to listen to the Courtney Bartnett track again) it is a good one do hope you come to love it to.