Monday, September 21, 2015

A Little Splash of Color!


.. can make all the difference in Sarah's wardrobe!


Made this for a newbie to the Haven, SarieMarie, who made her first trading caption for me! It is always nice to have someone start off their trading with me, and I think it is definitely an honor. I took my time to make sure that I fit in at least a few preferences .. in this case a redhead and some preppy plaid (plus tights) rolled into the caption. Since I don't know her well, I stuck to a standard telling with a bit more description in the transformation that I might for another person I've made captions before in the past. Luckily, I didn't have to put as much pressure upon myself to be the first to post in her folder, as a few people have already gifted her captions

Still though, I sat on it overnight, wanting to make sure I still did a good job and not overwrite it .. which tends to be more of a rookie issue usually. When doing a descriptive arrangement though, we can go overboard, and I wanted to makes sure the text was legible and stood out enough against the picture, which gave me the idea of being in front of a dressing room mirror.


Here is the original from the night before. It isn't QUITE finished in that I didn't multiply layers, add final touch-ups, etc .. but once I decided I wanted to edit it down, I figured I'd keep the original to post here for comparison. As you can see, I chopped out the entire second paragraph. I could make an argument for cutting out the "As a bargain shopper .." paragraph as well, but I thought it fleshed out the Matthew character slightly and wasn't a hindrance space wise.

That editing made the first sentence seem awfully short and "hung out to dry" in transitioning to the now second (previously thrid) paragraph so I wanted to flesh it out just a bit. Most people will recognize Johnny Cash as "The Man in Black" so I figured subconsciously, it would reinforce the first sentence and show Matthew as the "common man in black" as opposed to a Goth.

Having hatcheted the original second paragraph, I was free to make the text larger and stand out more. After that, I think I changed a few words for clarity, put his spoken thought into italics, then finished cleaning it up. I am much happier with the revision that was posted to her trading folder. My only regret is that I couldn't tie something from the beginning into the end. Most of the best captions can fold in on themselves layer wise, and since this was more of a "Grind It Out" caption, as opposed to a moment of inspiration, it didn't quite have an internal logic to circle back the wagon.

Thanks for humoring me on the "muse" caption I posted on Saturday. Sometimes to paint within the lines, you have to smear bodily fluids upon your padded walls to keep a balance. Truly a blank canvas moment that was, while not inspired, therapeutic at best.


2 comments:

  1. An editing master class I have made notes.
    The only Johnny cash ending I can think of is (WAIT FOR IT)
    I've changed my mind I walk in a red A line (skirt)

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  2. I think this is really lovely! I really like the choice of image. The story is also nice, almost sweet, and the fact that there's no 'ping' moment of realisation, that the body is not shocking... it's just, well, rather nice.

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