or maybe it wasn't hiding as much as you thought!
Today's caption is about discovery, for both James in the caption, and us the readers. I have to admit, I can be fucking jaded when it comes to the whole TG scene. Been reading Fictionmania since it existed, and before that was awaiting ftp updates from the Nifty archives and after that, the various emailing lists that catered to transformations of different sorts. When something new comes along, its wonderful to see, but alas, that doesn't happen very often. Its why I still love the Haven, as we still get people that are just venturing into our little subculture grin like kids on Christmas morning looking under the tree for their presents. Its funny to call their feelings "innocent" because of the subjects implied, but it is like taking a kid to Disney World and they get their first look at Cinderella's Castle up close.
And that is what I wanted to convey in this caption. The starting out on the journey of self-discovery, with perhaps a supportive partner too! I wanted to give it a bit of squirminess and apprehension, while playing with what can be an embarrassing situation. Finding out you have these feelings in front of someone you probably like and want to impress can be frightening, especially if you've tried to block them out in the past. The picture played a big part in the development of this caption, as the model is not big chested, and the right parts are covered up. The outfit is likely one a guy would wear when first starting out dressing up with a female friend's help, and the hair isn't obviously styled or colored in an overtly feminine way.
Its hard to determine if the main character is denying what he feels or isn't quite sure how he feels, but isn't that true anyway? Once something becomes commonplace, the stakes are raised. I think anyone that has been in this mindset before knows how it most likely escalates until 'stasis' is achieved. Whether that is complete dressing on the weekend, or panties underneath work clothes, or having your wife fuck some guy on the back patio as she rents your french maid ass to a canasta party her sister holds for her Zumba class every other Sunday. Each level is something refreshingly new to those who haven't been there before, and give a certain pleasant memory to the more experienced in the scene. "Those were the days," indeed!
Celebrate what you enjoy, and lift up those who follow in your footsteps. Give your knowledge and understanding without pissing out their fire before it can even get going. And lastly, try not to be as condescending as this entire blog post sounds! It wasn't my intent!
DISCUSSION QUESTION: What excited or thrilled you the most when you first had the TG bug hit you? For those old enough, it can be pre-internet. How long did it take before it escalated somehow, whether from finding something online or in real life, and how consuming was it? Has it leveled off, reached a point of consistancy, or varied between periods of binges and purges?
Of course, you are very welcome to talk about the caption itself and what I wrote about above. There should be another sissy caption coming soon, starring Leeanne, so keep popping in!
Fun cap Dee, and great GREAT post!
ReplyDeleteTo first address your discussion question, the thrill I experienced when I first saw a photo set involving a shemale sometime in the late 80s / early 90s was that it was so… different. The fact that I could be turned on before the big (pun intended) reveal was a real eye opener to me. It only took several months before that idea wormed its way through my head and had me slipping a pair of panties up my legs. That was the only attempt at cross dressing for about two decades. Searching out image sets like that and stories in that vein (only much later did that hobby involve captions) became a hobby until I arrived at the Haven myself.
What really inspired me to comment here though wasn’t your question… it was the whole idea of celebrating ‘new’. In this community we can certainly focus on the new stages of cross dressing and/or TG feelings, but celebrating the ‘new’ should occupy many if not all parts of our lives. There is always ‘new’ to celebrate. New job, new school, new position at work, new grade/class, new friends, new family members (through marriage or birth), new hobbies, new activities, new music, new books, new movies, new television, new food, new drinks, new states of mind, new cars, new vacations, new trips, new toys, new tools, new highs, new lows, new gadgets, new relationships, new art… we should welcome and celebrate all that is new in our lives.
But beyond accepting that our lives are full of ‘new’, I want to reiterate that we should never be ‘pissing out their fire’. I.e. we shouldn’t assume that somebody’s ‘new’ experience will be the same as ours. Certainly we can share our past experiences, but their ‘new’ is not our ‘new’. Just because we failed (or the ‘new’ failed us) doesn’t mean that it will be the same for them. Even if we don’t enjoy someone else’s ‘new’, we should still support them and simply enjoy the fact that they are enjoying something. Something ‘new’.
C
My early days were hate and self loathing fear and frustration so I well not dwell on the painful past.
ReplyDeleteBeing a more mature reader all my experience was pre internet. you had to go out and buy gentleman's special interest magazines at a news agents. order videos through the post or pluck up the courage to go to an adult book store. clothes you had to get with shopping catalogues paid with cheque I always felt that the people at the ware house knew my secret.
I felt very alone at the time so I think what I am trying to say in my usual round about way is we should always welcome the new viewers only if to let them know they are not alone. and whatever their own real world situation they can at least express their selves here without judgement.
My own first discovery came quite late. In that it came very long after I had acted on the feelings in my head, in my play and just generally. Of course, I didn't dress until long after I knew the name of what I was feeling and had read about it and even then it was pretty tame. I wrestled with it a lot, but didn't really consider what anyone else might think beyond assuming it was not something for public consumption - a bit like discovering masturbation I guess.
ReplyDeleteMost of my early memories are before the internet and I only discovered fictionmania through a link on a BBS at University - thus finding that my feelings were shared and had names. Mostly, I had read a single story in a magazine from the top shelf of the newsagents that put some ideas into the already bursting fictional situations in my head that had come to me as naturally (and I mean that as sarcastically as it appears) as masturbation had and at about the same time. It's a wonder I didn't really think it natural until after I'd resolved to start blogging about it some 18 years after first feeling the feelings connected with sex.
And any people new to all of this come with that same uncertainty. I hope they take comfort, as I did, discovering that others share what they feel (in many different ways) and support from that community.
As to the question of stasis... There has been a point, a high point, reached and left behind with me. Twice. I dressed a lot when I moved into my own house after breaking up with my Mad Ex and, again, for five wonderful weeks quite recently. However, there was no escalation in either case beyond having more clothes. The aspects of bondage that I tried in both were first tried (and not exceeded) sometime around the point that I 'discovered' masturbation, and so, are pretty much indistinguishable from my own sexual awakening (to use a very trite and loaded term).
Though my online habits occasionally see escalation (but always in different directions before my faddy nature moves on) I'd be hard-pushed to see any huge differences that have been me doing the pushing. I did sexual things with my Mad Ex while dressed, for example, that will likely never be done again and I did things at 14 that I will never repeat - not because I don't want to but because it's just not feasible any more. I very much doubt, sadly, that my experience in September last year will ever be repeated either, for example. So, yes, I think most people in our community experience a level-up every now and again, and reach a plateau in their experiences, but I cannot share in that except in my faddishness.
Woah, huge essay.
From my very young years, when I first discovered my mother's Vanity Fair Lace Nouveau panties, the sensation of dressing in women's clothes has been an erotic event that I crave constantly. I would never have imagined then that as I grew older I would actually have more control over the frequency I'd be able to experience that first, and still amazing, sensation of slipping a pair of panties up my legs and settling them around my sissy clit.
ReplyDeleteLovely cap.
ReplyDeleteIn my Haven profile it said until the great update, that amongst my earliest memories were those of my sisters and me playing dress up. I´m still not sure if it was just for fun for them and that they sparked something in me, or if they saw something they stopped seeing when we got older.
Bad experiences made me seek the comfort of the closet at a young age as well, but having older sisters it was not hard to get a stash of clothes for myself without anyone noticing. Some items meant for charity never got there or got there much later.
Online? I don't even know what site caught my eye first, but the Nifty archives was definitely one of the first, and while not since the beginning, FM contained less stories than Nifty when I got there. During and after FM I was a visitor at several blogs, until arrived at the Haven. I don't visit Nifty, FM and a lot of blogs anymore. They felt like a journey. To me the Haven feels like home online.
While I've never visited Disney World, I guess the feeling of seeing Cinderella's castle is similar to seeing to visiting Schönbrunn Castle in Vienna, Austria. Actually That might even be more impressive.
The home of Empress Elisabeth of Austria better known as Sisi. I still love the Sissi movies with Romy Schneider, I rarely missed a chance to watch them when I grew up, wishing I could wear dresses like that. It still feels great, thinking back to my visit. I'd like to visit it again sometime. Or maybe visit Versailles. The legends surrounding that castle? Who knows where I might end up.
Strange actually, but even now in this community I'm still reluctant to talk about this part of me. I guess keeping something a secret for over four decades makes opening up about it hard enough.
I've been writing this comment several times, deleting it, rewriting it deleting it again, still unsure what I'm comfortable with to share.