Wednesday, June 1, 2011

From the Mouths of Babes

Been busy since I've been on vacation (since Friday afternoon). Though I was able to make a few captions, I didn't feel motivated enough to make a posting here. Also, I am quite enjoying my recent run of captions, and since I want to post most of them, I figured a few days distance would give me the space I need to be more objective about what worked and didn't work. Hope you didn't miss me TOO much!

Anyway, the above caption is the one that I posted to Rachel's Haven as a payback for a lengthy caption series from Davewashere25. What made it so cool was that he used the basis of this blog as a stepping off point, so it had a realistic feel to it. I wanted to give him something in return that hit some major buttons, as I am not usually one for creating epic mini-series. I can do a great job of showing what is happening "in the moment".

In the past, I've turned Dave into a little girl, as a former husband was cuckolded by his wife, who became pregnant from another man.  I wanted to do another caption where I went at it with a different angle in using a conversation between a daughter and Dave's wife. I don't recall too many captioners using that device before, and it made sense to me that it could/would be a humiliating experience for him. The daughter's innocence could be played as well, since the mom would then have to explain things ... and children in general are clueless when it comes to anything of a sexual nature, especially fetishes. They also tend to be painfully honest and without social filters.

I had that idea floating around in my head for a day or two, but it felt a bit off. I wasn't sure I could pull it together with a picutre that went well. THEN I found the picture I used in the caption. It felt much better to me that there wasn't a child in the photo AND it seemed perfect in that, the parents were switching places and seemed to be getting ready to head out somewhere.

When i was a child, I can recall my mom getting ready to go out on a Saturday Night and it was a time of apprehension and wonder. My parents were going out and I was in the hands of an old aunt. Would I ever see them again? An entire night seems like forever to a child. It also was a moment of transformation, as my mom, who I mostly saw dressed in comfy clothes, would become this glamorous image of femininity, towering over me in heels (though she was only 5' tall) and wearing a dress with perfect makeup and hair. My dad usually put on a nice dress shirt and slacks, though he waited until 5 minutes before they left to shave since he always had heavy stubble.

From there, it was just fleshing out the story. I took some liberties with his preferences, which he usually doesn't mind because I guess he likes getting captions from me, which I consider an honor. It is obvious in the picture that the blond is stunning, confident, and smitten with her image in the mirror. That made me decide that Dave was definitely a crosdresser, albeit one that was hiding it from his wife. He doesn't list that in his preferences, but I felt that if it was well written, he wouldn't mind that much.

The main point I wanted to get was that Dave was going to be outed by his daughter, innocently of course, which would set up further situations for him down the road. I also wanted to show that his wife could go from 0 to Bitch in about 5 seconds flat, further establishing the trouble that Dave was soon to be heading into.  My original caption didn't quite show that as much though. Here is the original and below I will talk about why I went from this to what was posted above.

One is that I clearly didn't specify enough of what was going to become of Dave. Having Clarissa say that Dave could be home everyday as Dani made it a bit clearer what was going to happen. In the original it was left a bit fuzzy. Here you can see the finality in what Daddy Kim is thinking.

Another thing was I didn't want to make the text any smaller, and since Clarissa is a child, I figured the best way to gain some space was to reduce her font size. It works because it sets the speakers apart even further.

Lastly, I want to tie everything up into a nice clean bow. The last line in the original .. you really weren't sure if Daddy Kim was mad or being playful. I wanted to drive home the situation as it pertained to what was going to be happening with Dave (and I can only imagine what happened to him there at the party!) For that I wanted to tie in something from my own real life. I have been separated from my daughter's mother for at least 14 years now. I technically have custody, but she does stay with her mom from time to time. Its always "our daughter" when she does something awesome, but when she misbehaves, it is always "YOUR daughter just set her teacher on fire!" I always found that line of reasoning amusing, and played off of that to create the stinger at the end.

(Damn this is quite a long posting. Whew!) All this, plus probably other things I forgot to mention, made this caption what it was. The irony is that I am not a huge fan of crossdressing captions, but some of the favorites I've created have come from this genre. I guess it could be that since I don't dabble in it too often, it seems fresh to me? Or maybe I like them more than I let on? That is for another discussion I guess.

DISCUSSION QUESTION: Does the interplay between the mom and daughter seem genuine? If you were to be outed as a TG caption fan or crossdresser, who would be the most embarrassing person to be outed in front of? What could make the situation even worse? Lots of questions I know, but hey, I haven't posted in a week! What did you think of the caption overall and did the changes I made make it better? worse or the same?


  1. Sadly I don't have much interaction between mothers and daughters. It does, however, sound right as a parent/child interaction. I admit that at first I was confused as I expected 'Momma Dani' to have some dialog, and my mind kept pushing 'her' into the conversation. But on the second read it was much clearer. I do like the fact that 'Momma Dani' is just in the background hearing how 'she' will now be spending time playing dressup with 'her' daughter.

    Its hard to picture me being outed as I don't dress (although I have been considering having another go at it!). But if I turn my mind to being outed as a captioner with some of my more raunchy caps as evidence... then I think being outed to my brother would be the most embarrassing. My father has passed away, so the 'masculinity' of my family resides between me and my brothers. My older brother has more or less taken my fathers place as the go to guy thing person. Need something fixed? Ask him. Need a good sexist joke? Ask him. Need a good put down, or fight instructions? Ask him. So as the 'masculine' representative of the family, it would be most embarrassing to be outed to him.

    The only problem with it is that my family has a deep sharp divide between 'its family therefore its o.k.' and 'its absolutely wrong and never should be mentioned again'. I don't know which side my captioning (or if I so partake) dressing would end up on. Everything may be fine as I am family. Or it may be so wrong that I am no longer family. I don't know, and as I would never risk my status as family, will hopefully never find out.

    What could make the situation even worse? If you mean in the caption, then finding out that 'Momma Dani' is to be a den mother of sorts to her daughter and her daughters friends. Spreading around that information would make it worse. In real life? Hmm.. I don't know.

    I like the changes to the captions. That last line really sets up 'Daddy Kims' whole demeanor. I like the caption, but still feel that without Momma Dani's voice, that something is missing. I'm not sure how to satisfy that, but that feeling is still there.

  2. I had the same problem as Caitlyn, I kept thinking Dani would have something to say so I was just a little confused on who was saying what at times, but on a second read through I had no problem. I think it works very well, and the first draft was definitely messing something.

    I think the dialog does seem natural for a young girl that's been exposed to this sort of thing. They wouldn't think anything was wrong, it's just mommy and daddy likes to play dress up too.

    The most embarrassing person to be outed too..As a crossdresser the most embarrassing person to be outed too would probably be.. this is a little hard, I can picture all sorts of different reactions from friends and family, so I'll say my dad I think. Things are already at odds with me and him and I guess that would be the final straw. Not that I don't already feel like that line has been passed, but that would just put it out in the open once and for all i think.

    And if i was outed as a caption author? my mom probably, all the fetish stuff and everything i put into my cap might give her a heart attack. Of course, my brothers would probably be weirded out as well.

    What could make it worse? oh geez.. if it came out in an argument some how. I can see it being hurled out as an insult, even if they would regret it later, things can get nasty when tempers are high.

    @ Caitlyn
    I was going to comment on your post about the crossdressing and I think I mentioned it in YIM, but my post on your blog was screwed up and I lost it all.. ugh! But i think that's wonderful that you might give it another go, I don't get the chance to try it as much as I like, and while true I don't pass or anything. Just being near something fem or having it touch my skin is relaxing or a big thrill to me. Depending on the mood I'm in.

  3. @ Everyone

    I had a few reasons for not letting Dave speak.

    One was that I thought it might be confusing for readers to figure out which person was which. Even though I use colors to differentiate speakers, it might take a few "run-throughs" for someone to figure out which dialog when with each person (and since the daughter isn't seen, it would make it even harder.

    Another reason is that if you look in the mirror, Dave looks VERY distracted, and into his look. I'm guessing that his wife had done the makeup (playfully femming him up, causing him both excitement and humiliating pleasure) and is truly in the moment of "God I look beautiful" to really contribute anything to the conversation. I"m sure he is aware of what is being said, but is too self-absorbed to speak out for himself.

    Thirdly, I figured that a lack of voice would make him seem even more powerless. The wife was dressed like a man, and had authority over him.

    Looking back at this again, I think I could've made the caption even better. I am now picturing the last line being. "Well, 'Momma Dani' looks like it is time to zip you up nice and tightly into your new life!" Then again, that might make it less visceral.